Talk To Death Comic Strips
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595 Results for Talk To Death
View 1 - 10 results for talk to death comic strips. Discover the best "Talk To Death" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday July 04,
1994
Tags #baywatch, #morale is low, #talk of mutiny, #project staus report, #death to boss, #pointy haired one
Transcript
Dilbert: Here's my daily project status report. Morale is low. There is talk of mutiny. we dream of quitting and becoming lifeguards on "Baywatch" Death to the pointy haired one. The Boss: Holy Cow! "Baywatch' is hiring??!
Tuesday March 18,
1997
Tags #disguise arousal, #jerk magnet, #talk to death, #turkey deceased, #sandwhich
Transcript
Tina and Dilbert sit at a table eating lunch. Tina says, "I always fall for the wrong guys. I'm a jerk magnet." Dilbert says, "Tina, the turkey in your sandwich is already deceased. You don't have to talk it to death." Tina clenches her teeth and her fists. She thinks, "I must disguise my arousal." Dilbert says, "Hey, look! We're eating exactly the same quantities for lunch!"
Thursday November 28,
1991
Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #confirmation, #hearing, #supreme court, #senator, #starve, #death, #downside
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair watching Dogbert's confirmation hearing on television. A voice says, "The senator has 34 seconds . . ." Dilbert thinks, "I wonder what would happen if you let them talk as long as they wanted." Dilbert thinks, "I'll bet they'd starve to death. But there's probably a downside."
Sunday July 14,
1996
Tags #making personal calls, #stealing, #fist of death, #eighty cents, #talk to family, #bill for overtime, #being competetive, #office supplies
Transcript
Alice sits at her desk. The Boss enters and says, "According to this phone bill, you've been making personal calls." The Boss continues, "That's like stealing from the company, Alice." Alice clenches her teeth, holds her fist and thinks, "Must . . . Control . . . Fist . . . Of . . . Death . . ." Alice looks at the telephone bill and says, "I only spent eighty cents to tell my family I was working late." Alice says, "Here's a dollar. The extra twenty cents is for the personal thought that I'm about to have on company time." Alice closes her eyes and imagines the Boss tied up with rope. She pictures handing him a stick of dynamite. Alice says, "And here's my bill for $40,000 in unpaid overtime that the company stole from me." The Boss replies, "That's not stealing; that's being competitive." Alice says, "I think I'll be competitive with a few bushels of office supplies later today."
Sunday September 28,
2003
Tags #employee moral survey, #open, #honest, #communication from management, #death spiral, #looting comaony, #noise, #fishing lures, #e, #ploys suffer, #boss likes hurting, #sick boss, #negative force
Transcript
"I have the results of the employee morale survey." "The number one issue is 'not enough open and honest communication from management.'" "Well, okay. I'm willing to give that a try." "Management is looting the company while hiding the fact that we're in a death spiral." "Whenever you talk, I think about fishing lures until the noise stops." "When I see an employee suffer, it excites me in ways I don't understand." "On nine separate occasions I've fired bald guys because I thought they were you." "If this doesn't work for you. Let me know on next employee morale survey."
Saturday September 15,
2018
Dogbert's Pep Talk
Tuesday October 02,
2018
Death In The Family
Wednesday July 22,
2020
No Talk About Morale
Tags #business, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #morale, #talk, #engagement, #workplace, #culture, #happy, #question, #covid, #pandemic
Transcript
dilbert and boss wearing face masks. dilbert: i've noticed that we used to talk about employee morale... but now we talk about "engagement" and "workplace culture." why is that? boss: we found out it doesn't matter if you are happy. dilbert: remind me to never ask another question.
Thursday February 17,
2011
Tags #office buildings, #work ethic, #new cubicles, #death eater gray, #soul sponge, #absorb happiness, #fear of the unknown
Transcript
Office relocation Tina says, "Your new cubicles will be a color called 'death eater gray.'" Tina says, "The fabric is a soul sponge that will absorb your happiness if you stand hear it." The Boss says, "How'd the meeting go?" Tina says, "Well, you know, fear of the unknown." Office Relocation
Sunday June 19,
2011
Tags #embarrassment, #walkways, #minute, #meeting, #walk and talk, #barely concentrate, #prove underling wrong, #business
Transcript
Dilbert: Do you have a minute? Boss: I'm on my way to a meeting. Follow me. We'll walk and talk. Dilbert: I don't see how this can possibly work. You can barely concentrate when you're sitting perfectly still. When you add the extra complexity of walking, it's like asking a squirrel to land a 747. Boss: Must... prove underling... wrong... Noise: BONK! Dilbert: I didn't know that being right could feel so good.