Talk To Yourself Comic Strips

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524 Results for Talk To Yourself

View 1 - 10 results for talk to yourself comic strips. Discover the best "Talk To Yourself" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #non monetary rewards, #program, #self mentoring, #talk to yourself

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The Boss approaches Asok and says, "Asok, I'm putting you on our special self- monitoring program." The Boss continues, "If you have any questions whatsoever, feel free to talk to yourself." As he walks away, The Boss thinks, "I'm the master of non-monetary rewards."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stressful project, #worst thing, #pep talk, #jumped window, #imprint on window screen

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Wally: "Alice, I hear that your project is stressful." "Sometimes it helps if you ask yourself: what's the worst thing that could happen?" Dilbert: "How'd the pep talk go?"

Dogbert's Pep Talk

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Dogbert's Pep Talk - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #virtual, #forget, #real, #people, #inadequate, #talk

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Dilbert: I'm worried that if I spend too much time using virtual reality, I'll forget how to talk to real people. Dogbert: I doubt you could get more boring and inadequate than you already are.

No Talk About Morale

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 No Talk About Morale - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #morale, #talk, #engagement, #workplace, #culture, #happy, #question, #covid, #pandemic

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dilbert and boss wearing face masks. dilbert: i've noticed that we used to talk about employee morale... but now we talk about "engagement" and "workplace culture." why is that? boss: we found out it doesn't matter if you are happy. dilbert: remind me to never ask another question.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mobile (cell) phones, #surveillance, #security, #employee locator device, #smarthone, #questions, #text to yourself

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Boss: Security says your employee locator device isn't turned on. Dilbert: My what? Boss: I think you call it your smartphone. Dilbert: I might have some questions. Boss: Put them in a text to yourself. I'll read them later.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #embarrassment, #walkways, #minute, #meeting, #walk and talk, #barely concentrate, #prove underling wrong, #business

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Dilbert: Do you have a minute? Boss: I'm on my way to a meeting. Follow me. We'll walk and talk. Dilbert: I don't see how this can possibly work. You can barely concentrate when you're sitting perfectly still. When you add the extra complexity of walking, it's like asking a squirrel to land a 747. Boss: Must... prove underling... wrong... Noise: BONK! Dilbert: I didn't know that being right could feel so good.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #suspicion, #no clue, #software works, #wear noisier shoes, #talk behind back

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Dilbert: Wow, the guy who wrote this doesn't have a clue how software works. Man: When you talk about people behind their backs, it makes me wonder what you say about me. Alice: I think we just solved that mystery. Dilbert: You should wear noisier shoes.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #retail business, #sales trip, #dont talk, #misleading impression, #engineering support, #after sale, #bag of meat, #lying bag of meat

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Boss: I need you to come with me on a sales trip, but don't talk to the customer. Your presence is needed to give a misleading impression of how much engineering support we plan to offer after the sale. Dilbert: So I'm nothing but a bag of meat? Boss: No. You're a lying bag of meat.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #hardware, #store, #invisible force, #therapy, #psychiatrist, #selfish, #feelings, #talking

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Dilbert lies on a couch and explains to a therapist, ". . . Whenever I'm near a hardware store I feel an invisible force drawing me inside . . ." The psychologist says, "You've been talking about yourself since you got here. We never talk about ME and MY feelings. I hurt too, you know." Dilbert says, "I'm paying $75 an hour . . ." The psychiatrist says, "Good Lord, and you think that makes it okay to be selfish??"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #android, #kit, #walk, #talk, #dress, #differently, #Dogbert, #around

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Dilbert assembles an android and says to Dogbert, "I built this android from a kit." Dilbert continues, "He doesn't have a personality, but he will walk around and talk." Dogbert says, "Well, I hope you guys will at least dress differently."