Talked About Himself Comic Strips

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View 1 - 10 results for talked about himself comic strips. Discover the best "Talked About Himself" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 22, 1997's comic on:


Tags #perfromance review, #meeting over, #stood up, #boss, #talked about himself, #self centered, #egotistical, #unprofessional

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The Boss stands behind his desk and says to Asok who is seated in front, "...and that's your performance review. Any questions?" Asok the intern says, "You talked about yourself for the full hour. Can we talk about me?" The Boss says, "Okay. YOU don't seem to know that YOUR meeting is over when YOU see me stand up." Asok says, "ooh."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 23, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #romance, #interpreter, #logically, #solve, #emotional, #problems, #reasons, #fix, #hear, #wisdom, #compassion, #arouse, #talk, #himself, #dating, #women and men

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Dogbert, Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert says, "Blah blah blah." Dogbert translates for the woman, "He's telling you how to logically solve all of the emotional problems you seem to have." Dilbert says, "Blah blah blah." Dogbert translates, "He reasons that if he can fix your problems he won't have to hear about them anymore." Dilbert says, "Blah blah me." Dogbert translates, "He hopes that the wisdom and compassion he just faked was enough to arouse you. Now he will talk about himself."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 05, 2012's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business lunch, #employee, #freedom from tyranny, #lunch, #talk work, #waddle, #waddle away

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Boss: That restaurant was great. Dilbert: I know. I plan to go there someday for lunch. Boss: We just ate lunch. Dilbert: That wasn't lunch. Boss: It wasn't? Dilbert: You talked about work the entire time. Lunch is not defined by food. It's defined by freedom from tyranny. My lunch hour will begin the minute you waddle away. Was this going well until I said "waddle?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 20, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #tabloid, #devoted, #lies, #impatience, #fools, #legendary, #choked, #man, #necktie, #stupid, #questions, #shoulder

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The caption says, "Dogbert starts a tabloid newspaper devoted to lies about himself." Dogbert stands on a desk chair and types. Dilbert asks, "Where do you get your ideas?" Dogbert types, "Dogbert's impatience with fools was legendary. He once choked a man by his necktie for asking stupid questions." Dilbert looks over Dogbert's shoulder as Dogbert types, "It happened one day when the fool was reading over Dogbert's shoulder and got too close."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 20, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #the boss, #agenda, #discussion, #paper, #recycling, #program, #drawback

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The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and a woman sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "First on the agenda is a discussion of the company's new paper recycling program." Dilbert looks at the agenda and says, "We talked about that last time . . . Hey, this is last week's agenda." The Boss replies, "You spotted the one drawback."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 22, 1998's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #hr diretor, #improve perfromance, #feel bad, #faults, #boss lists faults, #hoping for improvement

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Caption: Catbert: H.R. Director Catbert stands on the top of a chair talking to the boss. Catbert says, "You can improve an employee's performance by making him feel bad about himself." The Boss says, "So, although that wouldn't work on me, it works fine on other people?" Catbert says, "Exactly." The boss stands behind Dilbert and reads from a piece of paper. The Boss says, "I'll read your faults one at a time. Tell me when your performance improves."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 29, 2000's comic on:


Tags #antimicrobial polymer, #pick up lines, #two women, #stinky socks, #turn off, #a no no

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Dilbert is standing at a party with two women. He says, "My socks use an anti-microbial polymer to bond chlorine atoms to cotton." He continues, "I can wear these babies for days before they start to stink." Dilbert asks Dogbert, "What was that other pick-up line we talked about?" Dogbert answers, "It was 'Hi.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 15, 2012's comic on:


Tags #meetings, #finish tasks, #communication skills, #poor skills, #task, #breakdown, #work, #delgatation

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Boss: Did you finish the tasks we talked about in the last meeting? Dilbert: No, because your communication skills are so poor that I had no idea I was supposed to do a task. Wally: Did I have a task?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 17, 2017's comic on:


Tags #argument, #anger, #frustration, #trolling, #needling

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Dilbert: And that's how much money the new system will save us per year. Man: Apparently you don't care how much it costs because you're an ignorant narcissist. Dilbert: I talked about the costs in great detail. What's wrong with you? Man: Oh, I guess you're walking it all back now. Dilbert: There's nothing to walk back. I'm saying the same thing I said earlier. Man: Nice try, hypocrite! Dilbert: I don't know what is happening right now!!! Man: Why is he so defensive? Boss: He's losing it.

Lots Of Things Happening Behind The Scenes

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Lots Of Things Happening Behind The Scenes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 21, 2017's comic on:


Tags #human resources, #results, #confidentiality, #progress, #business

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Tina: I complained about my boss two months ago. Has Human Resources done anything about it? Catbert: Lots of confidential things are happening behind the scenes. Tina: For example? Catbert: For example, we talked about how much of a whiner you are.