Search Results for "tape"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.
1 - 10 of 30

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 25, 1989's comic on:

Tags #exercise & fitness, #run, #workout tape, #scare

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert arrives at home and asks, "Okay, where are these so-called upholsterygeist?" Dogbert replies, "In the living room." Dilbert says, "You turn on the VCR, I'll get the Jane Fonda workout tape!" The chair runs away screaming, "Aaagh! The Exercist!"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 23, 1989's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #video, #tape, #tennis, #instruction

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits on the floor hugging his knees and watching television. Dogbert says, "You've been watching this video tape over and over for days." Dilbert says, "These tennis instruction tapes are great. I can just feel my game improving as I watch." Dilbert continues, "In fact, I see no need to actually physically play the game ever again."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 19, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #bumped, #happy airline, #wonder, #duct tape, #section, #satisfaction, #company

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands at the "Happy Airline" ticket counter. The ticket agent says, "I'm sorry, sir, but you've been 'bumped.'" Dilbert says, "What?!" Dilbert puts his hands on his hips and says, "I've got a ticket! I demand satisfaction! I'll call the president of your stupid company!!" Dilbert is strapped to the wing of a plane. Dilbert thinks, "I wonder if there's really such a thing as the 'duct tape section.'"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 26, 1996's comic on:

Tags #dogbert day care, #progressive, #duct tape, #fortune

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a chair across from the Boss's desk. The Boss asks, "What exactly is the Dogbert Day Care concept?" Dogbert answers, "Progressive companies can provide day care without spending a bundle." The Boss reads Dogbert's plan and asks, "Wouldn't we spend a fortune on duct tape?" Dogbert replies, "It's reusable unless it gets slobbered on."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 25, 1994's comic on:

Tags #time to go, #working all night, #extra work, #not better off, #fixed mistakes, #duct tape, #chair, #uncanny, #duck tape cureall

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to a co-worker, "It's seven o'clock, Ed. Time to call it a night." Ed replies, "I'm planning to work all night." Ed explains, "I'm not very bright so I work long hours to compensate." Dilbert says, "Ed, we're not better off when you do extra work." Ed says, "I'm not quite following your logic." Alice and Wally stand behind Dilbert. Dilbert says, "We all worked late undoing what you did yesterday." Dilbert continues, "We voted to duct-tape you to your chair." As they tape Ed to his chair, Alice says, "It's uncanny how many problems you can solve with duct tape." Wally says, "Sometimes I use it instead of underwear."

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 05, 2000's comic on:

Tags #bad performance review, #tape measure, #measure twice

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss is at a table flanked by Dilbert and Wally. The boss says, "My philosophy is: measure twice.." The boss continues, "Then cut twice, then uh..." Wally says, "Give the tape measure a bad performance review?" Dilbert giggles, "Hee hee!..Ooh."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 28, 2000's comic on:

Tags #tape pencil, #hand, #raise, #would be unethical, #ten percent, #hiccup damage, #moral compass

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok the Intern watches Wally taping a pencil to the hand of The Boss who is comatose. Wally says, "I'll tape a pencil to his hand and use it to sign off on a raise for me." Asok the Intern says to Wally, "That would be so unethical... hiccup. May I have ten percent?" Wally works on getting the pencil into the comatose Boss' hand as Asok says, "That hiccup damaged my moral compass."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 17, 1999's comic on:

Tags #dumb boss, #tape measure, #postage on email, #my boss is so dumb

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted, Dilbert and Carol sit at a conference table. Ted says, "My boss is so dumb, He brought a tape measure to a distance learning class." Everyone laughs, "HA HA HA HA!" Carol says, "My boss is so dumb..." Carol says, "He puts postage stamps on his e-mail. Now he can't see his pc screen." Everyone laughs, "HA HA HA HA!" Ted says to Dilbert, "How about you, Dilbert? Do you have any dumb boss jokes?" The Boss enters the conference room. The Boss says, "Dilbert, my pc is warm. I think our fire wall is acting up." Ted pats Dilbert on the back and says, "We're sorry." Carol says, "We didn't know."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 09, 2010's comic on:

Tags #cleaning, #janitor, #crime scene, #overalls, #assistant, #feet in air, #dead body, #mop, #duct tape

View Transcript

Transcript

Crime Scene Cleaning Dilbert says, "There's no budget for a mop or cleaning supplies." Dilbert says, "All I have is this pole and you." Ratbert says, "You could duct tape me to the pole." Dilbert says, "Yup. If we had duct tape."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 30, 2001's comic on:

Tags #hand writing, #answer questions, #return calls, #i'll be away, #bad odor, #windy, #phantom, #monkeys, #duct tape

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss pops into Dilbert's cubicle and hands him a piece of paper. The Boss says, "Dilbert, take care of this. It's urgent." Dilbert responds, "I can't read your handwriting. What does it say?" The Boss responds, "I don't have time to answer your questions." The Boss continues, "Don't try to call me. I don't return calls." The Boss continues, "If you come to my office I'll be away." Headline: And then, like a bad odor on a windy day, the phantom manager vanished." Dilbert gives the note to Carol. She says, "I think it says, 'Floog smort olak munta hawthnort." Dilbert asks, "What does it mean?" Carol responds, "I think it involves monkeys and duct tape."