Tech Conference Comic Strips
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584 Results for Tech Conference
View 1 - 10 results for tech conference comic strips. Discover the best "Tech Conference" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday April 22,
1998
Tags #tech conference, #attractive woman, #brush hand, #key, #concierge, #hotel, #check in, #men dominated
Transcript
Dilbert goes up to the airline desk at the airport. Woman behind the counter says, "Before I check you in, let me explain something.." Woman says, "You're here for a technology conference. I am the only attractive woman who will talk to you for days. I am not free for coffee later." Dilbert asks, "Can I brush your hand when you give me the key?" Woman says, "I'll toss it to you."
Wednesday March 27,
1996
Tags #department newsletter, #experienced tech writer, #intern, #rat, #respectively, #skills, #publisher taken
Transcript
Tina the Tech Writer, Asok the Intern and Ratbert sit at a conference table. Tina says, "Let's get one thing straight before we start writing the department newsletter . . ." Tina continues, "I'm an experienced technical writer. You are an intern and a rat, respectively. Therefore I will be the editor." Asok says, "I have no skills whatsoever. Therefore I'll be executive editor." Ratbert asks, "Is 'publisher' taken?"
Monday October 25,
1999
Tags #merging, #porcess, #engineers, #merger, #tech writers
Transcript
The Boss, Tina and Wally sit in conference. The Boss says, "We'll be destroying another healthy company via a process we call merging." The Boss says, "No engineers will be down-sized after merger." The Boss says to Tina, "And tech writers..." Tina says, "Yes?!" The Boss says, "Should write that down."
Friday September 21,
2018
Criminal Does Tech Support
Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #market, #competitive, #career, #criminal, #internal, #tech support, #passwords, #software, #justice, #fist
Transcript
Dilbert: I know the job market is highly competitive, but was it really a good idea to hire a career criminal? The Boss: Relax. He's just doing internal tech support. Paul: I'll need all of your passwords to update your software. Alice: Have you met my fist of justice?
Tuesday November 26,
2019
Conference Call
Tags #office workers, #business, #conference call, #meeting, #useful, #don't care
Transcript
wally: how did your conference call go? dilbert: normal. it took us twenty minutes to get everyone connected, followed by forty minutes of garbled speech that no one understood. the meeting ended when everyone got tired of pretending something useful was happening. wally: i didn't really care.
Sunday May 10,
2020
Dogbert Teaches Asok Tech Support
Tags #business, #technology, #train, #tech support, #problem, #reboot, #computer, #problem solving, #genius
Transcript
boss: dogbert, i need you to train asok to fill in for you on tech support. dogbert to asok: the goal of tech support is to convince the caller the problem is on their end. i do this by recommending increasingly difficult things for them to try. eventually they give up, watch and learn. dogbert on call: uh-huh... uh-huh... try rebooting your computer. now try it again while holding control -escape-space bar- delete for exactly 27.3 seconds. no luck? try looking at your computer's binary code to find any zeros and ones that are out of order. click dogbert: and he's gone. asok: genius!
Saturday November 14,
2020
Angry Tech Writers
Tags #anger, #business, #exercise, #technology, #writing, #tech writer, #underpaid, #coffee, #hate
Transcript
dilbert: why is your writing so angry? tina: tech writers are underpaid, so all of our envy and contempt spill out on the page. dilbert: maybe you tech writers should drink less coffee and exercise more. tina: this is exactly why we hate everyone.
Wednesday March 30,
2011
Tags #hold press conference, #introduce cold fusion, #breakthrough, #lightbulb, #wires plugged, #low opinion, #jar with frosted glass, #overkill
Transcript
Dogbert says, "I'm ready to hold a press conference to introduce my cold fusion breakthrough." Dilbert says, "All you did is put a lightbulb in a jar. I can see the wires plugged into the outlet." Dilbert says, "You have a low opinion of people." Dogbert says, "I considered using a jar with frosted glass, but it seemed like overkill."
Saturday April 30,
2011
Tags #apathy, #telephones, #get tech support, #audio menu, #tech support, #user manuals, #hate customers, #apathy thing
Transcript
Dogbert: I researched how long your customers will stay on the phone trying to get tech support before giving up. Then I designed an audio menu tree that will take them slightly longer than that to reach your tech support. I've seen your user manuals and I assume that you hate your customers' guts. Boss: It's more of an apathy thing.
Thursday December 01,
2011
Tags #obliviousness, #obstinacy, #office workers, #whiteboard, #conference room, #prohject timeline, #zombie reflex mode
Transcript
Dilbert: Don't clean the whiteboard in the conference room. It has my project timeline. Janitor: I can't promise that. I slip into a sort of zombie reflex mode when I do this job. Dilbert: I envy you. Janitor: Would you like a few minutes to say goodbye to your timeline?