Technical Issue Comic Strips
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176 Results for Technical Issue
View 1 - 10 results for technical issue comic strips. Discover the best "Technical Issue" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday March 16,
2010
Tags #meeting, #coworker, #software, #product, #sitting, #technical issue, #understand, #terms, #comprehension level, #human, #squirrel, #anvil, #awkward, #community college, #business, #engineering
Transcript
The Boss says, "Dilbert, explain to Logan the technical issue in terms he can understand." Dilbert says, "Sure. What's his comprehension level? Are we talking human, squirrel or anvil?" The Boss says, "Which one am I?" Dilbert says, "Don't make this awkward." The Boss says, "Did the squirrel go to a community college?"
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Wednesday March 17,
2010
Tags #technical issue, #coworker, #sitting in chairs, #facing each other, #software, #yell, #condescend, #stupid, #dumb, #dense, #shout, #sitting on couch, #touchy, #engineering
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I've been asked to explain our technical issue in terms you can understand." Logan says, "Good." Dilbert says, "THE SOFTWARE, IT NO WORKY!!!" Dilbert says, "He was dense and touchy. It's a bad combination."
Monday February 23,
2015
Technical Analysis
Tags #Advice, #bad advice, #investing, #stock market, #stocks, #squirrel sitting, #clown shoulder, #technical analysis, #money
Transcript
Lessons in Investing. Boss: You should buy a stock whenever the chart looks like a squirrel sitting on a clown's shoulder. That's called "technical analysis." Asok: I'm not going to do that. Boss: Good. Because it doesn't work if everyone does it.
Tuesday February 01,
2011
Tags #honesty, #writing, #write, #birds walk keyboard, #Opinion, #technical part, #blabbing the ethernet
Transcript
Alice says, "Is this how you really write, or did birds walk on your keyboard?" Alice says, "I only need your opinion on the technical part of it." Alice says, "Okay, let's assume that your readers will know what you mean by 'blobbing on the ethernet.'"
Friday June 10,
2011
Tags #kindness, #trick, #credibility issue, #suscpious, #boss compliments, #hostile response
Transcript
Alice: I'm just stopping by to say you're doing a great job, Alice. Alice: You never do that! It's a trick! Die, monster, die! Boss: I might have a credibility issue.
Thursday July 21,
2011
Tags #cruelty, #embarrassment, #not judeg, #quality of question, #technical
Transcript
Man: ... and so, that's my question. Dilbert: I try to not judge people by the quality of the technical questions they ask. Man: Is it working? Dilbert: Not even a little.
Sunday August 21,
2011
Tags #anxiety, #mobile (cell) phones, #telephones, #rings after 4pm, #caller id blocked, #ignore call, #email, #horrible issue, #hate life, #torture coworker
Transcript
Noise: Ring. Dilbert: Uh-oh. It's never good when my phone rings after 4 pm. Caller ID is blocked. Someone must know that I would ignore the call if I knew who it was. If it weren't urgent, it would be email. This must be some sort of horrible issue that will cause me to work all night. It stopped. There's still a chance that I'll be okay unless my cell phone... Noise: Bzzzz. Dilbert: GAAAA!! I hate my life! Alice: You're right. That was funny. Wally: Now I'll text him.
Friday September 09,
2011
Tags #keep brain out, #laziness, #long and complicated, #technical recommendation, #thinking, #make decision
Transcript
Dilbert: Did you read my technical recommendation? Boss: No. It's too long and complicated. Dilbert: How do you plan to make a decision without reading it? Boss: I'll use my gut. Dilbert: It's probably a good idea to keep your brain out of this. Boss: Quiet! It's saying something. Noise: GROWL.
Tuesday September 13,
2011
Tags #deception, #electronic mail, #answer email, #signal to noise, #technical problem
Transcript
Boss: You didn't answer my email. Dilbert: I tried to read it but the signal-to-noise ratio was too low. Boss: So it's sort of a technical problem? Dilbert: Okay.
Friday November 11,
2011
Tags #employees, #executives, #ignorance (knowledge), #technical details, #idea, #deciosns, #people involved, #pale and poorly dressed, #business
Transcript
Boss: Stop right there. Don't tell me the technical details of your idea. I make my decisions based on what I know about the people involved. Dilbert: You know less about me than you know about my idea. Boss: Is your idea pale and poorly dressed?