Techno Jargon Comic Strips
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63 Results for Techno Jargon
View 1 - 10 results for techno jargon comic strips. Discover the best "Techno Jargon" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday June 02,
1997
Tags #guiding prciples, #network architecture, #obvious ideas, #techno jargon, #unclear writing, #suspenders, #muddles thinking
Transcript
Alice, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table with man who has a beard and is wearing suspenders. The man says, "I put together some guiding principles for our network architecture." Alice says, "I sure hope this isn't a bunch of obvious ideas disguised with techno-jargon and unclear writing." Dilbert whispers, "Let the games begin." Alice says to the man, "So tell me, do suspenders cause muddled thinking or is it the other way around?"
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Friday August 19,
2016
Boss Freestyles With Jargon
Tags #language, #jargon, #managers, #leadership, #nonsense, #gibberish
Transcript
Boss: I forgot to make an agenda for this meeting, so I'll just freestyle it with jargon. Let's do a deep dive in the big data and drill down until we hyperlocalize some disruptive technologies. That's enough leadership. Now the rest of you need something to do.
Monday April 10,
2017
Asok Is In The Jargon Matrix
Tags #jargon, #language, #breakdown, #nonsense
Transcript
Carol: Come quickly. I think Asok entered the jargon matrix. Asok: At the end of the day, I want some actionable insights that will improve our cross-platform integration. Carol: Can he hear us? Dilbert: Yes, but our words are just noise to him now. Asok: Silo.
Tuesday April 11,
2017
Dilbert Enters The Jargon Matrix
Tags #jargon, #language, #matrix, #communication
Transcript
Dilbert: Asok entered the jargon matrix. I'm going in to save him. Asok: User experience... Dilbert: Cloud... blockchain... speed of execution... responsive design... peel the onion... move the needle... Asok: Sustainability. Dilbert: I'm in. Asok: What the...? Where did you come from? Narrator: Continued...
Wednesday June 26,
2019
Jargon Poisoning
Thursday June 27,
2019
Jargon Cancelling Headphones
Tags #doctor, #doctors' offices, #office, #office workers, #prescription, #headphones, #jargon
Transcript
doctor: looks like you have a bad case of jargon poisoning. doctor: i'll write you a prescription for jargon-canceling headphones. they translate jargon words to normal words. office worker: let's stay in our swim lane while the tiger teams get buy-in on the verticals. dilbert hears this with headphones: nothing, nothing, nothing.
Sunday October 30,
2011
Tags #gloating, #ignorance (knowledge), #internet & world wide web, #digital media curation, #trendy jargon, #ignorance on dsiply, #not worthy, #curation means
Transcript
Man: My role is digital media curation. Dilbert: Am I supposed to know what that means? Man: Ha ha! I look down you for not understanding my trendy jargon. Your ignorance is on display for all to see! Leave this meeting now! You are not worthy! Dilbert: Maybe you could just tell us what curation means. Man: Fine. Let's try that. It means um... um... Is it too late for me to overlook your ignorance and move on?
Tuesday January 31,
2012
Tags #computers & peripherals, #inventions, #computers, #program themsleves, #machine intelligence, #destroy civilization, #plan a, #live unhealthy, #lifestyle, #plan b, #techno terrorism
Transcript
Dilbert: In a few years, computers will program themselves. That's called singularity. From that point on, machine intelligence will increase exponentially. The resulting shock will probably destroy the fabric of civilization. Plan "A" is to live an unhealthy lifestyle. Plan "B" is techno-terrorism. Boss: I like the first one.
Wednesday December 30,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #personal, #technology, #engineers, #superior, #techno bill, #fax
Transcript
Wally and another engineer bow to Dilbert as he walks past. Dilbert thinks, "My vast array of personal technology makes me dominant over the less-equipped engineers." Dilbert thinks, "I am superior to them all . . . With the possible exception of . . ." Dilbert says as he encounters another engineer, "Techno-Bill!!" Techno-Bill has even more electronic gadgets strapped to his body than Dilbert. Bill says, "Looks like somebody just had a fax."
Thursday December 31,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #engineer, #electronics, #devices, #techno bill, #cellular, #phone, #modem, #dial, #systems, #autodialing
Transcript
Dilbert says to another engineer with electronic devices strapped to his body, "Please don't hurt me, Techno-Bill!" Bill says, "Make your move." Dilbert thinks, "My only chance is to use my cellular phone and modem to dial into his control module and set off all his systems." Techno-Bill says as he presses a button on his cellular phone, "Fool! I have autodialing." Dilbert runs away screaming as the gadgets on his belt ring and beep.