Technology Changes Comic Strips
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877 Results for Technology Changes
View 1 - 10 results for technology changes comic strips. Discover the best "Technology Changes" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday July 13,
2008
Tags #technology changes, #chasing knowledge, #observe, #network problem, #servers, #satisfied customer
Transcript
Asok says, "Wally, how do you keep up with all of the changes in technology?" Wally says, "Chasing knowledge is a fool's game, Asok." Wally says, "I use experience to answer questions without the burden of knowledge. Observe." A man says, "Wally, if we upgrade our servers, would that solve our network problem?" Wally says, "If the problem is the servers, yes." The man says, "I'll ask someone else." Wally says, "There goes another satisfied customer."
Sunday April 14,
1996
Tags #electrical engineering, #engineering proposal, #engineers opinion, #major, #masters degree, #naked statues, #nickle, #scratch and sniff, #technology publications, #thundering moron, #art history
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert stand in front of the Boss's desk. Dilbert says, "Dogbert would like to speak with you about the changes you made to my engineering proposal." Dilbert lifts Dogbert onto the desk. Dogbert says, "While Dilbert was getting his masters degree in electrical engineering . . ." Dogbert continues, "You were majoring in art history so you could look at pictures of naked statues." Dogbert continues, "Dilbert often contributes articles to technology publications." Dogbert continues, "You, on the other hand, rub those same publications with a nickel, looking for hidden 'scratch and sniff' panels." Dogbert says, "In summary . . ." Dogbert shouts, "Never question an engineer's opinion, you thundering moron!" Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table. Dilbert says, "Nicely done, but I wouldn't have said 'thundering.'" Dogbert reads the proposal and says, "What were you drinking when you wrote this piece of crud?"
Friday July 29,
2016
Dashboard Never Changes
Tags #deception, #trick, #technology, #status, #ruse
Transcript
Boss: I noticed that the project dashboard you wrote for me never changes. Dilbert: That's because our projects are always doing great. Boss: It's a static image, isn't it? Dilbert: You're gonna wish you asked that three weeks ago.
Saturday March 26,
2011
Tags #prejudice, #universities & colleges, #updating employee profiles, #school. indian institute of technology, #double major, #engineering, #false humility, #combined thesis, #terraformed planet
Transcript
Carol says, "Hey, Asok. I'm updating our employee profiles. Where'd you go to school?" Asok says, "I graduated from the Indian Institute of Technology in Lucknow with a double major in engineering and physics, and a minor in false humility." Asok says, "For my combined thesis I terraformed a planet in another dimension and didn't tell anyone." Carol says, "I'll put 'Indian.'"
Friday May 20,
2011
Tags #computers & peripherals, #language, #no longer undertsnd, #employees, #to of touch, #technology, #gravitons, #warp drive, #rebalanced, #subspace responders, #business
Transcript
Boss: I no longer understand anything my employees say. I must be so out of touch with technology that I don't even recognize the words. Wally: I flushed the gravitons out of the warp drive and rebalanced the subspace responders.
Monday February 21,
2011
Tags #engineers, #laziness, #project budget, #new technology, #slow learner, #expensive
Transcript
Woman says, "You used the entire engineering portion of my project budget just learning the new technology." Wally says, "I'm sorry things didn't work out for you." Wally says, "Some say I'm a slow learner, but I like to think of myself as expensive."
Thursday August 25,
2011
Tags #anger, #thinking, #ignorant, #backstabbing, #die, #make changes
Transcript
Customer meeting Boss: If I may correct what Dilbert just said, I'm sure it would be easy to make those changes. Dilbert: You ignorant, backstabbing son of a beach ball. Boss: Are you saying something inside your head? Dilbert: No. Die.
Monday October 17,
2011
Tags #writing, #writing materials, #five technology plan, #plan for ceo, #pie chart
Transcript
Boss: I need you to put together a five-year technology plan for our CEO. Dilbert: Sure. How about "tomorrow will be the same as today, and next year will be all flying cars and whatnot." Boss: Word it up and put a bow on it. Dilbert: I'll add a pie chart for the sizzle.
Sunday March 11,
2012
Tags #cloud, #email, #internet speak, #lingo, #meetings, #pretending, #text, #understanding technology, #wi fi, #skype
Transcript
Boss: Did you get the email I texted to you? Co-worker: What? That doesn't even make sense. What the heck is wrong with you? Dilbert: Let it go. He slips in and out of understanding basic technology. Boss: Do we have enough room in the cloud for Skype? Because if we don't, we can store some files on the wi-fi. Dilbert: I got this. We have plenty of space because we upgraded to a cumulonimbus cloud. Boss: Very good. Moving on.
Wednesday March 21,
2012
Tags #context, #do nothing, #office equipment, #scenario, #technology plan
Transcript
Boss: I can't sign off on this technology plan because I don't understand it. Dilbert: To be fair, you wouldn't understand any technology plan, including the "do nothing" scenario. Is this one of those cases where context isn't helpful?