Technology Service Comic Strips

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702 Results for Technology Service

View 1 - 10 results for technology service comic strips. Discover the best "Technology Service" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 04, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #technology service, #hospice, #bazooka, #hold gun, #intimidate, #compassion, #surprise, #scared, #computer, #windows xp, #technology, #business

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The Boss says, "I hired the Dogbert Technology Hospice Service to ease the suffering of our dying technology." The Boss says, "Dogbert will use compassion and? what was the other thing?" Dogbert says, "Bazooka." Dogbert says, "Step away from the Windows XP!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 09, 2007's comic on:


Tags #tesks, #intern, #anti meeting spell, #traffic estimates, #barraged with questions, #fights ensue, #new service, #web application, #all technology, #internet bubble, #platform

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Asok: "I didn't have time to finish my tasks for this meeting." Wally: "No problem." "If you get cornered, read this powerful anti-meeting spell." "Asok, did you finish the traffic estimates?" Asok: "Um...I was wondering if our new service is Web 2.0 or Web 1.0." "Obviously it's a Web 2.0 application because of the tag-based folksonomies." "No it isn't. All of our technology existed before the Internet bubble." "'When' doesn't matter. It only matters that we use the Web as a platform!" "Everything is a platform!" Asok: "Freaky."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 04, 1996's comic on:


Tags #executive summary, #approval page, #executives, #understand, #know less, #aaa road service, #uphill

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Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk. The Boss hands him a document and says, "Add an executive summary to the approval page." The Boss continues, "Keep it simple. Our executives don't understand as much about technology as I do." Dilbert asks, "How could they know less than you do? You haven't figured out how to make your car go uphill." The Boss replies, "Wrong; I got AAA road service."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 16, 1997's comic on:


Tags #information technology dept, #jordan the preventer, #request for service, #resource shortages, #reverse psychology

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Alice sits at her computer, behind her is Mordac. He says, "I am Mordac the Preventer, your liason from the information technology department." Mordac says, "I come with tales of resource shortages. Your request for our services has been denied." Alice stands up and is much taller than Mordac. She says, "I didn't request any of your services." Mordac replies, "Don't try your reverse psychology on me."

Dilbert Chooses Life

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Dilbert Chooses Life - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 03, 2015's comic on:


Tags #off the grid, #emergency, #hiding, #help, #cell phone, #service, #connection, #nature, #allergy, #reaction, #decision, #technology

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Dilbert: My hiding strategy of going off the grid was working until I ate that berry. If I call for help, the government will find me. If I don't I will die. I choose life! Phone: No service.

Dogbert's Service Human

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Dogbert's Service Human - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 04, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #magazines, #office, #office workers, #service, #ipad

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dogbert to dilbert: this is my service human. office worker on leash. dogbert: whenever i feel angry, i slap him with a rolled-up magazine to help me relax. service human: no one reads magazines anymore. dogbert: can i borrow your iPad?

Service Human And Pay

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Service Human And Pay - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 05, 2019's comic on:


Tags #abuse, #business, #office, #office workers, #service, #payment

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the boss: i'm hearing that you are abusing your service human. the boss: i don't think you pay him enough for that. service human: wait. i'm suppose to get paid for this??? dogbert: great. now you've ruined him!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 26, 2011's comic on:


Tags #prejudice, #universities & colleges, #updating employee profiles, #school. indian institute of technology, #double major, #engineering, #false humility, #combined thesis, #terraformed planet

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Carol says, "Hey, Asok. I'm updating our employee profiles. Where'd you go to school?" Asok says, "I graduated from the Indian Institute of Technology in Lucknow with a double major in engineering and physics, and a minor in false humility." Asok says, "For my combined thesis I terraformed a planet in another dimension and didn't tell anyone." Carol says, "I'll put 'Indian.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 20, 2011's comic on:


Tags #computers & peripherals, #language, #no longer undertsnd, #employees, #to of touch, #technology, #gravitons, #warp drive, #rebalanced, #subspace responders, #business

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Boss: I no longer understand anything my employees say. I must be so out of touch with technology that I don't even recognize the words. Wally: I flushed the gravitons out of the warp drive and rebalanced the subspace responders.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 21, 2011's comic on:


Tags #engineers, #laziness, #project budget, #new technology, #slow learner, #expensive

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Woman says, "You used the entire engineering portion of my project budget just learning the new technology." Wally says, "I'm sorry things didn't work out for you." Wally says, "Some say I'm a slow learner, but I like to think of myself as expensive."