Technology Strategy Comic Strips
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860 Results for Technology Strategy
View 1 - 10 results for technology strategy comic strips. Discover the best "Technology Strategy" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday December 04,
2009
Tags #facts, #thimble, #knowledge, #suggestion, #technology, #strategy
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Here's the mountain of facts that support my recommended technology strategy." Dilbert says, "And here's a tiny thimble that holds everything you know about technology. Maybe you could?" Dilbert says, "Leaders don't like it when you suggest they wear the thimble of knowledge like a little hat."
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Sunday July 13,
2003
Tags #technology strategy, #not written yet, #doesn't exist, #duh, #duh to infinity
Transcript
The Boss comes into Dilbert's cubicle and says, "Dilbert, write up our technology strategy." Dilbert replies, "Okay." He pauses and then asks, "What's our strategy?" The Boss says, "How should I know? It's not written yet." He pauses and then adds, "Duh!" Dilbert turns and says, "How can I write about something that doesn't exist?" He pauses and then adds, "Duh!" The Boss replies, "It will exist, as soon as you write it." He pauses and then adds, "Duh!" The Boss and Dilbert exchange "Duhs:" The Boss says, "Duh!" Dilbert responds, "Duh!" The Boss says, "Duh!" Dilbert responds, "Duh!" The Boss says, "Duh!" Dilbert responds, "Duh!" The Boss turns to leave and says, "Just do it." The Boss thinks to himself, "Double duh." Dilbert responds, "Whatever." Dilbert thinks to himself, "Duh to infinity." Dilbert faces his computer and thinks, "If my company stock had any value, I'd be selling it right now."
Saturday May 09,
2015
Dilbert Fixes Boss's Technology Strategy
Tags #verbiage, #technical, #jargon, #deception, #logic, #team player, #babble
Transcript
Dilbert: fixed your technology strategy. I couldn't make it sound logical, so I buried the stupid parts under seven layers of technical babble. Add an irrelevant graph and no one will be the wiser... literally. Boss: Please stop being a team player.
Sunday February 16,
2014
Tags #public speaking, #slides tell a story, #status of project, #clown, #broken watch, #eagle, #technology, #old shoe, #storm drain, #pie chart, #dcitionary, #images, #offcie, #cubicle
Transcript
Boss: Experts say your slides should tell a story in pictures. Start with an image that captures the status of your project. Dilbert: How about this image of a clown with a broken watch? Boss: I was thinking eagle. Dilbert: Fine. Eagle. Boss: Now find an image that shows our technology strategy. Dilbert: How about this image of an old show in a storm drain? Boss: I was thinking pie chart. Dilbert: Fine. Boss: Now for the words. Dilbert: How about this image of a dictionary?
Saturday May 02,
2015
Dilbert Almost Done Commenting
Tags #insult, #insulting, #idiot, #criticism, #critique, #name-calling
Transcript
Boss: Did you comment on my technology strategy yet? Dilbert: Almost done. Do you object to the word "idiot?" Boss: Yes. Dilbert: I might need another day.
Monday May 04,
2015
Squirrel In The Large Hadron Collider
Tags #criticism, #obliviousness, #ignorance, #idiocy
Transcript
Boss: Your comments on my technology strategy are ambiguous. You compared it to a "squirrel looking for a nut in the large hadron collider." Dilbert: So..? Boss: How many nuts are in there?
Wednesday April 29,
2015
Strategy To Get What You Deserve
Tags #Promotion, #recognition, #strategy, #business, #competition
Transcript
Tina: I didn't get the promotion I deserve. Alice: What strategy did you use? Tina: Who uses a strategy to get what they deserve? Alice: Maybe you should ask the person who got your job. She sounds smart.
Thursday December 22,
2016
Strategy Document
Tags #strategy, #obliviousness, #insult
Transcript
Dilbert: I saw your email about destroying the company. Boss: Huh? The only email I sent you was my strategy for the coming year. Dilbert: Well, maybe I read it too fast.
Monday July 02,
2018
Strategy Is To Nimble And Agile
Friday October 11,
2019
Lack Of Strategy
Tags #managers & supervisors, #strategy, #business, #company, #employees, #nothing
Transcript
dilbert: once again, it seems you accomplished absolutely nothing this week wally: no on will tell me our company's strategy, so anything i did would be random flailing boss: a lack of strategy isn't keeping anyone else from working wally: but shouldn't it?