Ted Talks Comic Strips
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484 Results for Ted Talks
View 1 - 10 results for ted talks comic strips. Discover the best "Ted Talks" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday March 27,
2020
Ted Talks Might Take Your Job
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #social media, #technology, #instagram, #ted talks, #smart, #moron
Transcript
boss: the moron i hired keeps watching ted talks and getting smarter. he's only about three ted talks away from taking your job. ceo: there must be a way to slow him down. boss: i'll see if i can interest him in instagram.
Saturday March 28,
2020
Ted Talks Creates A God
Tags #business, #technology, #mental, #midget, #ted talks, #binge-watching, #god, #dumb, #all knowing
Transcript
new hire: i must leave you mental midgets behind as i go start up my own company. i was once dumb like all of you. then i started binge-watching ted talks, and i evolved. dilbert: what are you now? new hire: some kind of god, i assume.
Thursday March 26,
2020
Ted Talks Make You Smarter
Tags #business, #moron, #new hire, #smart, #ted talk, #binge-watch
Transcript
new hire: i used to be a moron, but then i binge-watched seventeen ted talks on youtube. now i'm the smartest person in the room. wally: should we do something about this? dilbert: i don't know. i've only watched six ted talks.
Thursday October 31,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #ted, #item, #vacation, #increments, #regular, #work, #days, #vacations, #avoid, #assignments, #minutes, #cough, #better, #take, #some, #sick, #time
Transcript
Dilbert, Ted and a woman sit at a conference table. Dilbert says, "Ted, can you explain number two?" Ted replies, "No. I'm on vacation." Ted explains, "I take my vacations in ten minute increments during regular work days. That way I can avoid assignments." Dilbert says, "Your ten minutes are up." Ted coughs and says, "Whoa, I'd better take some sick time."
Thursday December 05,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #ted, #layoffs, #aaah, #nervous
Transcript
Dilbert and Wally stand with Nervous Ted. Wally says, "I hear that big layoffs are coming, Nervous Ted." Ted screams and spills his coffee. Dilbert says, "Let me try one." Wally says, "Okay, but give him a minute." Ted looks frazzled.
Friday June 19,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #answer, #work, #body, #language, #discourage, #working, #ted
Transcript
Dilbert, Wally and Ted sit at a conference table. Dilbert says, "Maybe Ted can answer that question . . ." Ted thinks, "Uh-oh." Ted thinks, "They're trying to make me work. I'll have to use body language to discourage them." Ted puts a pencil up his nose and rubs his head. Dilbert says, "Uh . . . Never mind." Ted thinks, "It's working."
Saturday November 14,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #floyd, #killed, #Wally, #alice, #first, #aid, #ambulance, #firstaid, #phone, #ted
Transcript
Wally, Ted and Alice confront Dilbert. Alice says, "We heard you killed Floyd, our unbearable co-worker, yesterday." Dilbert replies, "No. I was there, but he choked on his own bile." Alice asks, "What did you do - perform First Aid? Call an ambulance?" Dilbert replies, "I don't know First Aid." Dilbert asks, "Uh . . . Can I use your phone?"
Monday April 12,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #baldness, #testosterone, #hair, #gone, #flinging, #pores, #problem, #ted
Transcript
Wally says to Dilbert and Ted, "Don't get too close - I found out that my baldness is caused by too much testosterone." Wally continues, "Now with my hair gone I'm afraid the testosterone will start flinging out of my pores." Drops of testosterone fly out of Wally's head. Ted says, "Hey! You got some on my shirt!" Wally raises his fists and says, "Do you have a problem with that?"
Tuesday May 25,
1993
Tags #Wally, #Dilbert, #ted, #productivity, #daydreaming, #irene, #accounting, #engineering, #ordinary, #betty, #marketing
Transcript
Wally says to Dilbert and Ted, "My productivity is shot. I can't stop daydreaming about Irene in accounting." Ted says, "Do what I did. Try to phase out of it by daydreaming of Laura in engineering, then move to the ordinary-looking Betty in marketing." Wally replies, "Now I'm daydreaming about all three of them." Ted replies, "Same thing happened to me."
Wednesday June 23,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #Wally, #ted, #bussiness projects
Transcript
The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Ted sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "As you know, all projects are assigned acronyms. Unfortunately, all the good ones have been used." The Boss says, "Any new project will have to use an acronym from this short list of somewhat less desirable choices." Dilbert asks, "What should I call my new project?" The Boss replies, "Well, you could use 'PHLEGM' or 'PLACENTA.'"