Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources
Catbert: The new company health plan is Google. From now on, employees must use Google to diagnose their own illnesses.
For example, this guy has a growth on his neck.
Guy: I do?
Catbert: A quick search on my Blackberry tells me it's...
Guy: What is it?!!
Catbert: Ooh. Wow. A pregnant termite crawled into your mouth and built a hive in your esophagus.
Guy: GAAA!!!" "Stop being a baby. The treatment for that is...
Catbert: Do you have an arc welder and a barrel of kerosene?"
boss wearing face mask: i'm starting to think i'm a bad judge of character. the last three people i hired turned out to be termite colonies in clothes.
dilbert in face mask: how did they disguise the face part?
boss: they learned from youtube makeup videos.