Test Blood Comic Strips
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195 Results for Test Blood
View 1 - 10 results for test blood comic strips. Discover the best "Test Blood" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday October 17,
1998
Tags #open plan office, #cameras record employees, #monitor phone calls, #surveillance, #test blood, #flog them
Transcript
Catbert stands on a desk facing the Boss. Catbert says, "We'll take away the cubicle walls and force emplyees to work in an "open plan" office." Catbert says, "Surveillance cameras will record their every move. We'll monitor phone calls and web use. We'll even test their blood!" The Boss says, "Can we flog them?" Catbert says, "Whoa, cowboy! Wait for phase two."
Saturday July 13,
1996
Tags #evil director, #mandatory blood test, #take drugs, #stealing time, #test, #general health
Transcript
Catbert peers over the wall and says, "Wally, it's time for your mandatory blood test." Wally says, "I don't take drugs." Catbert, who is holding a syringe, replies, "I'm testing to see if you're stealing time from the company." Wally asks, "Time? How can you test for that?" Catbert replies, "We test your general health. If it's good, you're not working enough hours. You thief."
Saturday May 13,
2017
Failing The Robot Test
Tags #sentience, #robot, #human, #artificial intelligence, #turing test, #voting, #ignorance
Transcript
Boss: Can you pass the Turing test? Robot: No. Can you pass the robot test? Boss: What's the robot test? Robot: Do you vote even though you don't understand the issues? Boss: Um... I might do that. Robot: You just failed the robot test.
Monday October 22,
2018
Catbert Personality Test
Tags #Catbert, #applicants, #personality, #test, #reliable, #Astrology, #reliability
Transcript
Catbert: All job applicants must take the Catbert personality test to see how well they will fit into our culture. Studies show the test is twice as reliable as using astrology alone. Man: Astrology has zero reliability. Catbert: You're not a good fit.
Tuesday October 08,
2019
Test Device Analogy
Tags #office workers, #technology, #power drill, #test, #device, #analogy, #office
Transcript
dilbert: i designed the test device to be held like one would hold a power drill ted: that's stupid. that product can't drill a hole in anything ceo: good point dilbert: that's... not... how analogies work. ted: and what if i don't need to drill anything? ceo: yeah!
Thursday March 24,
2011
Tags #competition (psychology), #meetings, #test script, #prodcut
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I spent the week writing a test script for our product." Wally says, "And I wrote a test script to test Dilbert's test script." Wally says, "Your script was almost perfect. Keep up the good work, buddy."
Tuesday May 17,
2011
Tags #test phase, #meeting, #desk, #production phase, #being smart, #good feeling, #confident, #business
Transcript
Dilbert:you scheduled the end of the test phase after the start of the production phase. we're feeling confident. Dilbert: ist too bad that being smart doesn't come with some sort of good feeling like that.
Wednesday January 19,
2011
Tags #annoyance, #interviews, #wages, #interviewing, #salary range, #reveal nature of job, #current salary, #interviewing me, #evil or inconsiderate, #current job, #test the commute, #money
Transcript
Man says, "Thanks for spending the day itnerviewing with us. I can now reveal the vature of the job and the salary range." Dilbert says, "You know my current salary and yet you wasted my entire day interviewing me for a job that pays less. You are either evil or inconsiderate." Man says, "So... not as good as your current job?" Dilbert says, "It's a tie. I'll need to test the commute one more time."
Monday February 14,
2011
Tags #media, #take pledge, #give fortune to charity, #billionaires, #200 million, #leave to heir, #semi relayed, #monkey dna, #clones test tube, #Entertainment
Transcript
CEO MONKEY: The media is asking if you'll take the pledge to give your fortune to charity. CEO: That pledge is for billionaires! I only have $200 million to leave to my heir! On a semi-relayted notem find out who keep putting monkey DNA in my clones test tube.
Sunday June 12,
2011
Tags #computers & peripherals, #machinery, #office equipment, #prototype, #traffic, #traffic load test, #ask lab, #didn't ask lab
Transcript
Boss: Did you ask the lab if they have a way to test traffic loads on our prototype? Dilbert: I met with them for an hour and explained that we need traffic load tests. Boss: But you didn't actually ask if they could do the tests? Dilbert: Well... no... but... it's their job to do the tests. And they would have mentioned it if they didn't have a way to do it. Boss: But you didn't ask. Dilbert: That was the context of the meeting. If they couldn't do that sort of test they would have mentioned it sometime during our hour together. Boss: Maybe you should ask. Dilbert: Gaa!! Okay! I'll ask! Are you freakin' kidding me?!! Man: I wondered why you didn't ask.