Search Results for "test blood"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.
1 - 10 of 179

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 17, 1998's comic on:

Tags #open plan office, #cameras record employees, #monitor phone calls, #surveillance, #test blood, #flog them

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert stands on a desk facing the Boss. Catbert says, "We'll take away the cubicle walls and force emplyees to work in an "open plan" office." Catbert says, "Surveillance cameras will record their every move. We'll monitor phone calls and web use. We'll even test their blood!" The Boss says, "Can we flog them?" Catbert says, "Whoa, cowboy! Wait for phase two."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 13, 1996's comic on:

Tags #evil director, #mandatory blood test, #take drugs, #stealing time, #test, #general health

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert peers over the wall and says, "Wally, it's time for your mandatory blood test." Wally says, "I don't take drugs." Catbert, who is holding a syringe, replies, "I'm testing to see if you're stealing time from the company." Wally asks, "Time? How can you test for that?" Catbert replies, "We test your general health. If it's good, you're not working enough hours. You thief."

Failing The Robot Test

Thank you for voting.
Failing The Robot Test - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 13, 2017's comic on:

Tags #sentience, #robot, #human, #artificial intelligence, #turing test, #voting, #ignorance

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Can you pass the Turing test? Robot: No. Can you pass the robot test? Boss: What's the robot test? Robot: Do you vote even though you don't understand the issues? Boss: Um... I might do that. Robot: You just failed the robot test.

Catbert Personality Test

Thank you for voting.
Catbert Personality Test - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 22, 2018's comic on:

Tags #Catbert, #applicants, #personality, #test, #reliable, #Astrology, #reliability

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: All job applicants must take the Catbert personality test to see how well they will fit into our culture. Studies show the test is twice as reliable as using astrology alone. Man: Astrology has zero reliability. Catbert: You're not a good fit.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 24, 2011's comic on:

Tags #competition (psychology), #meetings, #test script, #prodcut

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I spent the week writing a test script for our product." Wally says, "And I wrote a test script to test Dilbert's test script." Wally says, "Your script was almost perfect. Keep up the good work, buddy."

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 17, 2011's comic on:

Tags #test phase, #meeting, #desk, #production phase, #being smart, #good feeling, #confident, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert:you scheduled the end of the test phase after the start of the production phase. we're feeling confident. Dilbert: ist too bad that being smart doesn't come with some sort of good feeling like that.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 19, 2011's comic on:

Tags #annoyance, #interviews, #wages, #interviewing, #salary range, #reveal nature of job, #current salary, #interviewing me, #evil or inconsiderate, #current job, #test the commute, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "Thanks for spending the day itnerviewing with us. I can now reveal the vature of the job and the salary range." Dilbert says, "You know my current salary and yet you wasted my entire day interviewing me for a job that pays less. You are either evil or inconsiderate." Man says, "So... not as good as your current job?" Dilbert says, "It's a tie. I'll need to test the commute one more time."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 2011's comic on:

Tags #media, #take pledge, #give fortune to charity, #billionaires, #200 million, #leave to heir, #semi relayed, #monkey dna, #clones test tube, #Entertainment

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO MONKEY: The media is asking if you'll take the pledge to give your fortune to charity. CEO: That pledge is for billionaires! I only have $200 million to leave to my heir! On a semi-relayted notem find out who keep putting monkey DNA in my clones test tube.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 12, 2011's comic on:

Tags #computers & peripherals, #machinery, #office equipment, #prototype, #traffic, #traffic load test, #ask lab, #didn't ask lab

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Did you ask the lab if they have a way to test traffic loads on our prototype? Dilbert: I met with them for an hour and explained that we need traffic load tests. Boss: But you didn't actually ask if they could do the tests? Dilbert: Well... no... but... it's their job to do the tests. And they would have mentioned it if they didn't have a way to do it. Boss: But you didn't ask. Dilbert: That was the context of the meeting. If they couldn't do that sort of test they would have mentioned it sometime during our hour together. Boss: Maybe you should ask. Dilbert: Gaa!! Okay! I'll ask! Are you freakin' kidding me?!! Man: I wondered why you didn't ask.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 07, 2011's comic on:

Tags #business ethics, #computers & peripherals, #software, #install and test, #database software, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert consults Dogbert: I recommend that you buy the Dogbert database software. Boss: Did I just pay a consultant to recommend his own company's software? Dogbert: I'm totally objective. Boss: Who would install and test it? Dogbert: Maybe a consultant who knows the product?