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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 26, 2011's comic on:


Tags #frustration, #laziness, #writing materials, #pile, #busget numbers, #print again, #think murder

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Boss: I need your latest budget numbers. Dilbert: I put them on that pile yesterday. Boss: I don't have time to look through a pile. Go print it out again. Dilbert: How many times per day is it okay to think about murder? Wally: I'm up to six and it's only lunchtime.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 04, 2012's comic on:


Tags #suspicion, #thinking, #new information, #project scope, #anticipate, #think

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Dilbert: Based on this new information, you'll want to change our project scope. Boss: I don't do that. Dilbert: What? Think? Today I learned it's better if I don't try to guess what people mean.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 24, 1989's comic on:


Tags #care, #people, #think, #head, #shaped, #torpedo, #wright brothers

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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dogbert says, "You shouldn't care so much about what other people think of your work." Dogbert continues, "I mean, everybody scoffed at the Wright Brothers. Galileo was jailed. Columbus was ridiculed." Dogbert continues, "'Course, none of those guys had a head shaped like a torpedo."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 18, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #bob, #dinosaur, #exhausted, #need, #answer, #think

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Dilbert sits at the table and says to Bob the Dinosaur, "Sometimes I wonder how a dinosaur like you can survive, Bob." Dilbert continues, "I mean, your brain is so tiny . . . You must get exhausted just trying to think. How do you do it?" Bob clenches his teeth and says, "Think think think." Dilbert says, "Uh . . . that's okay. I don't really need an answer to that question."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 08, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #bed, #purpose in life, #today, #hungry, #toasted, #bagel, #great, #empty, #stomach, #think, #breakfast

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Dilbert lies in bed thinking, "Why should I get up today? What is my purpose in life?" Dilbert thinks, "I'm hungry. A toasted bagel would taste great." Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table eating breakfast. Dilbert says, "Maybe the purpose of life is eating bagels." Dogbert says, "You shouldn't try to think on an empty stomach."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 21, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #think, #prank, #game, #friend, #time, #visit, #ratbert

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Dogbert sits on the hassock laughing. Dilbert says, "I know you're only trying to make me THINK you've played a prank on me!" Dilbert says, "Well, two can play this game, my friend." Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the hassock laughing maniacally. Ratbert enters and asks, "Is this a bad time to visit?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 01, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #happy, #think, #hypnotized, #worrying, #hypnosis

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Dilbert and Dogbert walk outdoors. Dilbert says, "I thought I was happy . . ." Dilbert continues, "Then I thought what if I only THINK I'm happy but I'm not. Maybe I've been hypnotized and don't even know it." Dilbert continues, "Worrying about it made me unhappy, which means I must NOT be under hypnosis, so I'm happy." Dogbert replies, "Maybe I only THINK you're talking but really I'm happy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 05, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #ratbert, #think, #spare, #feelings, #hideous, #compost, #random, #colors, #hackneyed, #poorly, #executed, #embarrassing, #proof, #utter

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Dogbert sits at the table and Ratbert stands on the table in front an easel. Ratbert says, "Tell me what you think, and don't try to spare my feelings." Dogbert says, "It's a hideous compost of random colors. It seems both hackneyed and poorly executed. It's an embarrassing proof of your utter lack of talent." Dogbert continues, "As for you personally, spend some time on a 'Stairmaster.'" Ratbert says angrily, "Stick to the art, please!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 31, 1995's comic on:


Tags #i think, #therefore i am, #philosophical question, #you're not me, #you're irrelevant

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Dilbert sits in his cubicle and thinks to himself, "I think, therefore I am." The Boss pokes his head into Dilbert's cubicle. Dilbert thinks, "But I'm micromanaged, therefore I am not." Back at home, Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I have a philosophical question for you." Dogbert replies, "You're not me, therefore you're irrelevant."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 05, 1996's comic on:


Tags #pre meeting, #preliminary pre meeting meeting, #without planning, #think funny, #wally dilbert, #the boss

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Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss says, "Let's have a little premeeting to prepare for the meeting tomorrow." Dilbert says, "Whoa! Do you think it's safe to jump right into the premeeting without planning it?" The Boss, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Okay, let's get this preliminary premeeting meeting going." Wally says to Dilbert, "You think you're funny, but you're not."