Search Results for "think murder"
Share August 26, 2011's comic on:
Boss: I need your latest budget numbers. Dilbert: I put them on that pile yesterday. Boss: I don't have time to look through a pile. Go print it out again. Dilbert: How many times per day is it okay to think about murder? Wally: I'm up to six and it's only lunchtime.
Share January 29, 2018's comic on:
Wally: The pointy-haired boss is testing our self-driving car prototype. Hey, didn't you write the operating system for that prototype? Dilbert: Yes. Wally: Hypothetically, could you murder him from a distance? Dilbert: We shouldn't have this conversation. Narrator: Continued.
Share January 04, 2012's comic on:
Dilbert: Based on this new information, you'll want to change our project scope. Boss: I don't do that. Dilbert: What? Think? Today I learned it's better if I don't try to guess what people mean.
Share August 24, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dogbert says, "You shouldn't care so much about what other people think of your work." Dogbert continues, "I mean, everybody scoffed at the Wright Brothers. Galileo was jailed. Columbus was ridiculed." Dogbert continues, "'Course, none of those guys had a head shaped like a torpedo."
Share August 22, 1990's comic on:
Dogbert holds a sign that says "Fur is Murder." Dogbert asks a woman in a fur coat, "How can you live with yourself? Have you no conscience?" The woman replies, "Oh, big deal . . . A bunch of minks get bad haircuts and I get a warm coat . . . I'll bet you'd make a nice pair of mittens." Dogbert says as he walks away, "I don't think I reached her."
Share January 03, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert sits in a chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dilbert says, "Our town hasn't had a murder since 1957." The caption says, "Definition of an optimist." Dilbert thinks, "We're safe forever." The caption says, "Definition of a pessimist." Dogbert thinks, "We're due."
Share March 18, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert sits at the table and says to Bob the Dinosaur, "Sometimes I wonder how a dinosaur like you can survive, Bob." Dilbert continues, "I mean, your brain is so tiny . . . You must get exhausted just trying to think. How do you do it?" Bob clenches his teeth and says, "Think think think." Dilbert says, "Uh . . . that's okay. I don't really need an answer to that question."
Share January 08, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert lies in bed thinking, "Why should I get up today? What is my purpose in life?" Dilbert thinks, "I'm hungry. A toasted bagel would taste great." Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table eating breakfast. Dilbert says, "Maybe the purpose of life is eating bagels." Dogbert says, "You shouldn't try to think on an empty stomach."
Share February 21, 1992's comic on:
Dogbert and a boy sit on a park bench. The little boy says, "Boy, I'm really in trouble with my parents . . ." Dogbert says, "That's okay, Brett. Our society finds it humorous when young boys are mischievous." Brett replies, "I went on a three-week murder spree." Dogbert laughs nervously."
Share April 21, 1992's comic on:
Dogbert sits on the hassock laughing. Dilbert says, "I know you're only trying to make me THINK you've played a prank on me!" Dilbert says, "Well, two can play this game, my friend." Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the hassock laughing maniacally. Ratbert enters and asks, "Is this a bad time to visit?"