Third Grade Comic Strips

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63 Results for Third Grade

View 1 - 10 results for third grade comic strips. Discover the best "Third Grade" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 11, 1999's comic on:


Tags #words have squiggles, #bad grammar, #every sentence, #third grade, #enrollment form

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The boss seats at his computer and says, "Carol, come here! All of my words have squiggles under them!" CArol looks at his computer screen and says, "The software is telling you that every sentence you wrote has bad grammar." Carol says, "Press F1 for help and... it's a third grade enrollment form."

Dogbert The Third Ceo

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Dogbert The Third Ceo - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 15, 2014's comic on:


Tags #business tactics, #ceos, #executives, #co ceo, #third ceo, #tiebreaker, #fired, #disagreement, #new guy

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CEO: I hired a co-CEO, but it isn't working because we disagree on everything. We want to hire you as our third CEO so we always have a tiebreaker. Dogbert: I accept. The new guy and I have decided to fire you and split the CEO spot two ways.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 04, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #coffee, #third-degree

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Dilbert walks away from the coffee machine holding a cup of coffee. Dilbert says, "Now for the hard part: getting back to my desk without third-degree wrist burns." Dilbert screams. Dilbert stands outside his cubicle rubbing his wrist after spilling the coffee on the floor. Dilbert says, "I don't care for the taste, but it DOES keep me alert."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 15, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #school, #teacher, #dog, #fourth grade, #coincidence

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Dilbert asks Dogbert, "You what?!" Dogbert replies, "I got a job as a substitute school teacher." Dilbert says, "You aren't qualified to be a teacher. You're a dog." Dogbert replies, "Little kids won't know the difference." Dilbert says, "You do remind me a bit of my fourth grade teacher." Dogbert asks, "Just a coincidence?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 01, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #elbonia, #reclassified, #third-world, #second-world, #plenty, #elbonians, #world relations

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Dilbert reads the newspaper and says, "The tiny nation of Elbonia has been reclassified from a third-world country to a second-world country." Dogbert asks, "Second?" Dilbert explains, "That means they have plenty to eat, but they don't like it." In Elbonia, an Elbonian mother puts a tray of food on the table. Her child says, "Airline food, again?!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 25, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #comedy, #competition, #first, #joke, #old people, #dragged, #stage, #third place

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Dogbert asks Dilbert, "How did you do in the stand-up comedy competition?" Dilbert's clothes are tattered and he has bruises on his face. Dilbert replies, "I was halfway through my first joke -- about old people, when an elderly woman dragged me off stage and slapped the bejeezus out of me." Dilbert holds up a trophy and says, ". . . It was good enough for third place."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 13, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #critical, #third, #date, #casually, #mention, #hidden, #deformities, #horrible, #secrets, #dating, #mob boss

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Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert thinks, "This is it . . . The critical third date." Dilbert thinks, "This is when they casually mention any hidden deformities or horrible secrets to see if you still like them." The woman says, "Some people say you should stop dating after you marry a mob boss."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 02, 1994's comic on:


Tags #felt like kissing, #first date 85%, #kiss good night, #third date, #wearing sweat pants

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Dilbert: "This was our third date, Liz. Tradition demands that you kiss me or give me the 'let's be friends' talk." LIZ: "No, our first date only counted as 85 % because we were wearing our sweat pants." DILBERT: "I'm 15 % short?!!" LIZ: "It's too bad, because I really felt like kissing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 13, 1995's comic on:


Tags #blame the media, #blow out proportion, #dispappear, #human nature, #third wife, #Wally, #free replacements

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Dogbert, Wally and Dilbert sit around a conference table. Dogbert says, "You could offer free replacements for all the keyboards you sold without a 'Q,' or you could blame the media for blowing it out of proportion." Wally says, "Let's blame the media. They'll admit they were wrong and the whole thing will disappear." Dogbert says, "You have a brilliant grasp of human nature, Wally." Wally responds, "I know. My third wife always said the same thing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 24, 1995's comic on:


Tags #flight to ny, #many stopovers, #third world countries, #rebel insurrections, #wear red cross symbol, #on back, #bullseye, #wants boss killed

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The Boss approaches Carol's desk and says, "Carol, about this flight to New York that you booked for me . . ." The Boss continues, "Is it really necessary to make all these stopovers in Third-World countries that are experiencing rebel insurrections?" Carol holds up a bullseye and says, "You'd better wear the international symbol of the 'Red Cross' on your back."