Three Days Comic Strips
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Dilbert Alice and Wally are eating lunch. Alice says, "I heard that a stack of your papers fell over and killed a cubicle cop." Alice says, "What did you do with the body?" Wally says, "I enrolled it in the quality workshop nextdoor." Dilbert says, "It's a temporary solution." Wally says, "The workshop is only three days."
Wally asks Noriko, "How long has he been under your desk?" Noriko replies, "Three days." Wallys asks Noriko, "Did you feed him?" Noriko answers, "Just some licorice." Wally says to Noriko, "You should never feed the I.S. people." The I.S. employee responds, "More licorice!"
Carol: I've been reading our bereavement policy and I found a problem. I get three days off if my husband eats nothing but unhealthy food and dies young. And I'm the one who does our grocery shopping. Boss: Sounds like a conflict of interest. Carol: I'm glad I'm not the only one who sees it.
Woman: Wally, I need your data for my meeting in three days. Wally: Okay. It shouldn't take more than three or four days to pull it together. Woman: Not three or four days. I need it in three days. Wally: Okay. Three days. Not counting the weekend and the day I give it to you. Woman: That would be six days! Wally: Six or seven days. Tops. Woman: I need it in three days, not a week. Wally: That's no problem. A week or two at the most. Woman: Okay! You win! I'll reschedule my meeting for two weeks out! And you'll have the data in two weeks? Wally: Yes. Two weeks or so.
Dilbert and the financial advisor sit at the table. The advisor says, "I recommend our 'Churn 'N' Burn' family of mutual funds." The man continues, "We'll turn your worthless equity into valuable brokerage fees in just three days!" Dilbert asks, "Is it risky?" The advisor replies, "Are you kidding?! We have actual brochures!"
Dilbert stands at a counter under a sign that says, "Dry cleaning while you wait." He hands the woman behind the counter some clothing. The clerk says, "We'll have it done in three days." Dilbert says, "The sign says 'while you wait.'" The woman asks, "Do you think you'll stop waiting after two days?"
The boss sits in a metting with Wally and Dilbert. The boss holds a gadget and says, "It took me three days to enter all of my appointments into this PDA." The boss says, "I'll enter our next meeting. Tuesday... two o'clock." Wally says, "Is it voice-controlled?" The boss says, "I sure hope so."
The Boss walks up to Carol's desk. He is thoroughly disheveled; his hair is messed up, his shirt is torn and dirty. He exclaims, "I've been trapped in my office for three days! Didn't you hear me scream?" The Boss continues, shaking his hands frantically in front of Carol: "I used my staple remover to claw through the side wall!" Carol responds calmly, "Your door is a pull, not a push." The Boss, looking confused, replies, "Get me a bigger staple remover just to be safe."
Office relocation. Esok: you are not allowed to move you own computer. It must be left in an easily sealable condition for three days until the movers take it to the wrong cubicle. Then untrained I.T Professionals will shove an ethernet cable and stapler and call it good. Dilbert: get out of my way
Dilbert: "I need your approval to.." "... Be exhausted, bored, stiff, headachy, annoyed and constipated for the next three days." "Also known as 'business travel.'" The Boss: "I must be traveling right now!"