Three Engineers Comic Strips

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523 Results for Three Engineers

View 1 - 10 results for three engineers comic strips. Discover the best "Three Engineers" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 17, 2014's comic on:


Tags #behind schedule, #obstical, #projects, #sound dumb, #three engineers, #time management skills

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Boss: All of your projects are behind schedule. You need to work on your time management skills. Dilbert:Let me see if I understand you correctly. You expect me to do the job of three engineers... ...and the only obstical to your brilliant plan os my poor time management? Boss: Stop making everything I say sound dumb. Dilbert: I dont do it that often. Because you only sound dumb when people understand what you mean. Boss: And thats too Often! Dilbert: Once a week tops.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 1993's comic on:


Tags #restaurant, #Dilbert, #woman, #waiter, #dating

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Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert says, ". . . So I knew it was either a layer three protocol error or else it was time to recalibrate the scope." Dilbert continues, "Ha ha! I'll avoid the obvious pun about D-channel packet addressing!" The waiter wrestles with the woman for her knife. Dilbert says, "I don't think she's done with her knife." The waiter says, "I know. I lost three engineers this way."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 08, 1992's comic on:


Tags #humor, #Dilbert, #the boss, #tension, #engineers, #lightbulb, #appraisal

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Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "I'm going to use humor to ease the tension during your annual job performance appraisal." The Boss asks, "How many engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?" Dilbert says, "I don't know." The Boss says, "Well, that's consistent with your appraisal." Dilbert says, "Wait . . . I'll say three."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 11, 1995's comic on:


Tags #divide check, #engineers, #unpopular subsidy, #water, #13%, #tip amount, #questionable

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Dilbert, Wally and another man sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert looks at the check and says, "We could simply divide the check by three . . ." The waitress thinks, "Uh-oh. Engineers." Dilbert continues, "But that would result in an unpopular subsidy of Wally's salmon. Does anybody have a calculator-watch?" The caption says, "Hours later." The other engineer says to the waitress as she approaches the table with a pitcher, "This is the tie-breaker round of water to decide if you get 13% or 13.5%." The waitress growls, "RRRR."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 14, 1998's comic on:


Tags #moon, #nasa hides women, #love male engineers, #drinking contest, #loser, #never return, #entering contest

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Caption: Somewhere on the moon. The engineers and Dilbert are in a standoff. Engineer 1 says, "So, you discovered where NASA hides the women who love male engineers." Engineer 1 says, "How about a little drinking contest, tough guy? The loser can nver return." The three engineer loving women lie slumped on the surface of the moon surrounded by empty alcohol bottles. Woman 1 says "We probably shouldn't have insisted on entering the contest." Woman 2 says, "I'll miss them."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 30, 1995's comic on:


Tags #introduce you, #engineers, #karen, #new vp, #value employee, #open communications, #emailing freind, #window seat, #ask raining, #made raincoat, #garbage bag

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The Boss stands next to Dilbert's desk and says, "Let me introduce you to one of our engineers." The Boss tells Dilbert, "Karen is our new vice president. And you are . . .?" Dilbert reaches to shake the woman's hand and replies, "Dilbert: valued employee." The VP says, "I believe in open communications, Dilbert. Feel free to talk about anything." The Boss thinks, "Uh-oh." Karen asks, "So, what were you working on?" The Boss covers his eyes and thinks, "Oh no." Dilbert answers, "Well . . . I was just sending an e-mail to somebody who sits by a window to ask if it's raining." Dilbert continues, "If it's raining I'll fashion a raincoat from a large trash bag. Watch." Dilbert wears a plastic trash bag and says, "Three holes and you're ready to go!" The VP asks, "Are you planning to go out at lunch?" Dilbert replies, "Only if it rains."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 16, 2003's comic on:


Tags #engineers, #jobs, #want job your job, #falling out of trees, #dime a dozen, #intimidation, #job on line, #idle threats

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The Boss: The woods are full of people who want your job. These days you can't shake a tree without three or four engineers falling out. Id love to stay and chat but I need to go motivate the other headcounts.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 25, 2013's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #engineers, #paternity leave, #hopsital, #hesitate to ask, #not helpful

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Coworker: I assigned three more engineers to help on your project. One is on paternity leave, one is in the hospital, and one doesn't start for another month. If there's anything else you need, please hesitate to ask.

Engineers Built Everything That Matters

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Engineers Built Everything That Matters - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 18, 2014's comic on:


Tags #engineers, #importance, #marketing, #wages, #pay scale, #modern civilization, #need both, #marketing guy, #business, #money

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The Marketing Guy. Marketing Guy: I don't see why engineers get paid more than marketing professionals. Dilbert: Maybe because engineers designed and built every important part of modern civilization and all you did was misrepresent it. Marketing Guy: My point is that you need both. Dilbert: You really don't.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 12, 2011's comic on:


Tags #engineers, #vaccinnations, #wicked case, #disease, #heat, #every seven years, #kill me!

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Dilbert: My doctor says I have a wicked case of Pop Farr. Its when vulcans and engineers go into gear every seven years. Alice: Im pretty sure, I don't care but let me check my calendar just in case... Alice: Someone kill me! Now Now! Now! continued