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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 21, 2012's comic on:

Tags #choked pooch, #platform deciosn, #throw under bus, #very bad person, #regional idioms

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The Boss: Carl choked the pooch on the platform decision. I need you to throw him under the bus. Asok: He sounds like a very bad person, I will take care of that right away. I just found a website that kits regional idioms. Ive done some bad, bed things.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 03, 2012's comic on:

Tags #business ethics, #debt, #future generations, #power to lazy, #bathroom mirror

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Wally: I say we throw future generations under the bus and do as little work as possible until we die. Power to the lazy! That sounded more awesome when I practiced it in the bathroom mirror this morning.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 29, 1996's comic on:

Tags #air traffic control, #systems, #blue hound bus lines, #won bid

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The Boss says to Alice, Dilbert and Wally, "We won the bid to rebuild our nation's air traffic control systems." Dilbert, Alice and Wally throw their arms up in celebration. Alice yells, "Yippeee!!!" Dilbert yells, "Yes!!" Wally yells, "To the phones!" The Boss walks away thinking, "They don't usually get that excited." Inside his cubicle, Wally says into the phone, "Buy a thousand shares of 'Bluehound Bus Lines.'"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 03, 2011's comic on:

Tags #depression (mental state), #despair, #ugly partment, #two ugly roomates, #ugly bus, #ugly building, #ugly cubicle, #eat lunch

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Asok: I live in an ugly apartment with two ugly roommates. Each workday I take an ugly bus to an ugly building and spend the entire day in my ugly cubicle. Dilbert: At least you get to eat lunch with us. Asok: I've said too much.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 28, 1991's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #cop, #under, #arrest, #killing, #senior, #executive, #ear, #corn, #self-defense

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Dilbert opens the door. A police officer points a gun at him and says, "You're under arrest for killing a senior executive of your company with an ear of corn." As the officer frisks him, beads of sweat fly off Dilbert's head and he cries, "It . . . It was self-defense! HE started the food fight! I had just seasoned my corn . . . It was in my hand . . . It was just a reflex!!" The officer says, "The charge is 'a salt and buttering with intent to kill.'"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 16, 1994's comic on:

Tags #important project, #marked man, #other employees, #throw bricks, #keep persepctive, #suck ups, #brick to the head

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Ted: I'm putting you in charge of an important project which is fully funded." Dilbert: Ima marked man, The other employees will either try to suck up to me for money or throw bricks at me. Ted: Buddy. Dilbert: The trick is to keep a protective ring of suck ups around at all times. Zip.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 20, 1994's comic on:

Tags #good inertia, #marketing department, #project, #under funded, #uniformed decision, #take blame

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The Boss: How's your project coming along? Dilbert: Its under-funded and doomed. But Ive got some goof inertia going and Im setting the marketing department up to take the blame. The Boss: I feel like I should be doing something here. Dilbert: Ive got you planned to make an uniformed decision next week.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 17, 1995's comic on:

Tags #the problem, #under staffed, #six weeks, #behind, #the analysis, #add people, #the result, #daily stats reports, #situation

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The caption reads, "The problem . . ." Dilbert enters looking frazzled and says to the Boss, "We're so under-staffed that the project is six weeks behind schedule." The caption reads, "The analysis . . ." The Boss looks pensive and thinks, "I can't add people . . . I can't change the due date . . . I can't ignore it." The caption reads, "The result . . ." Dilbert says to Wally and Alice, "He wants daily status reports until the situation improves." All three look overworked and disheveled.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 22, 1990's comic on:

Tags #hairballs, #dust, #bunny, #cultural, #home, #hide, #clumps, #under, #furniture, #nip, #bud

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A large rabbit taps Dogbert on the back. Dogbert turns around and shouts, "Holy hairballs! What are you?!!" The bunny replies, "I am the 'Dust Bunny,' an emerging cultural icon." The bunny explains, "Once a year I come to every home and hide clumps of dust under furniture and major appliances." The dust bunny says, "You must honor me by decorating closet doors and singing dust hymns." Dogbert asks, "What about gifts? Do I get any gifts out of this?" The dust bunny replies, "No. The dust bunny symbolizes only love, goodwill and very poor housekeeping." Dogbert sucks up the dust bunny with a vacuum cleaner. He looks at the reader and says, "I know, it seems harsh, but you have to nip these things in the bud." The dust bunny cries from inside the vacuum, "Okay, gifts!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 01, 1996's comic on:

Tags #leadership, #air traffic control system, #on time, #under budget, #feature creep, #dangerous, #wall clock

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Dogbert stands on an air traffic control panel. He says to the Boss, "Thanks to my leadership, the new air traffic control system is designed on time and under budget." Dogbert continues, "I had to cut a few corners. This big radar-looking thing is a wall clock. And most of the buttons are glued on." The Boss says, "It looks like it might be um . . . dangerous." Dogbert says angrily, "Great . . . I finish early and what do I get: 'feature creep.'"