Throws A Fit Comic Strips
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113 Results for Throws A Fit
View 1 - 10 results for throws a fit comic strips. Discover the best "Throws A Fit" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday January 03,
1994
Tags #transferred, #marketing, #slaps employee, #groggy, #disoriented, #fit in better, #business
Transcript
The Boss: Im sorry Dave, But your being transferred to marketing and theres no budget to train you as a marketer. Slap! Dave: where am I? I need a drink. The Boss: This is a temporary fix...but you'll fit in now.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Monday August 01,
1994
Tags #boos, #delegate work, #mark compalins, #throws a fit, #complain, #behind back, #boss retreats
Transcript
The Boss: We've hired the Dogbert Ad Agency to give our company a new image. Mark: AAAGH! MARK: Sure, Sure...I"ll do it, but I'll have this expression the whole time. and just maybe I"ll complain behind your back!! The Boss: Never mind, I'll do it myself. Oh, right, keep the good assignment,
Thursday March 16,
1995
Tags #ban all meetings, #dress code, #casual staus, #mission statements, #have fun, #satisfy customers, #make money, #fit five more, #cucbicle, #chair, #stock options
Transcript
Dogbert stands on a podium addressing a crowd of office workers, including Dilbert, Wally and Alice. Dogbert says, "As new owner of this company I hereby ban all meetings over one hour. The dress code is casual. Status reports are optional!" Dogbert continues, "No more mission statements or 'visions.' Our motto is 'have fun, satisfy customers, make money.'" Dilbert sleeps in his chair. In Dilbert's dream, Dogbert concludes his speech to the employees, "And stock options for all." Outside Dilbert's cubicle, Dogbert says to the Boss, "We can fit five more in this cubicle if we remove the chair."
Sunday October 06,
1991
Tags #Dogbert, #nuclear, #bomb, #much, #deal, #government, #reduce, #national, #debt, #liberal, #hissy, #fit
Transcript
Dogbert walks past a man in a trench coat standing on a street corner. The man says, "Psst . . ." The secret agent asks, "Want to buy a nuclear bomb?" Dogbert asks, "How much?" The man replies, "Twenty bucks." Dogbert says, "Deal." Dogbert hands over the money and asks, "Does the government know about this?" The man replies, "I am the government." The man says, "It's the only way we could agree on to reduce the national debt . . . You wouldn't believe how many of these things we have." Dogbert walks down the sidewalk carrying his bomb. Several other people on the street are also carrying bombs. Dogbert thinks, "I'm glad I got mine before some liberal has a hissy fit."
Wednesday February 14,
1996
Tags #such cubicle enviroment, #regular emplyees, #enjoy, #sharing cubicle, #co ops, #new co op, #lasted a day, #fit in
Transcript
The Boss walks down the hall with a new employee. The Boss says, "As a co-op employee, you can't expect the same lush cubicle environment that the regular employees enjoy." The Boss brings the man to a cubicle filled with people lying on top of each other. The Boss says, "You'll be sharing this cubicle with our other co-ops." Dilbert says to Alice, "I heard that the new co-op only lasted one day." Alice quips, "He didn't fit in."
Tuesday January 21,
1997
Tags #perfromance review, #alleged misdeeds, #lower rating, #fit bell curve, #selling crack
Transcript
Wally tells the Boss, "I can't sign this performance review! It's full of alleged misdeeds that you invented to lower my rating!" The Boss replies, "Yes, but I think it reflects the sort of things you MIGHT do. I had to make all the reviews fit a bell curve." Wally screams, "I am NOT selling crack from my cubicle!!!"
Tuesday August 28,
2001
Tags #lower costs, #retirement package, #smart employees, #rewrite mission statement, #fit better, #retired by now
Transcript
Catbert is sitting on The Boss' desk. The Boss says, "First, we'll lower costs by offering a retirement package that induces all the smart employees to leave." The Boss continues, "Then we'll rewrite our mission statement to make it fit better." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Our new mission statement is, 'If you can read this you should have retired by now." Dogbert replies, "Ouch."
Thursday January 15,
2004
Tags #over head storage, #anxiety, #doesn't fit, #baggae, #luggae, #army on, #above seat, #iowa, #airplane
Transcript
Dilbert: GAAA!!! Im having overhead storage anxiety!! It doesn't fit! Everyone will hate me for delaying the flight! Flight attendant: We ere scheduled to fly to new york, but thanks to the bag that didn't fit, we have to leave in Iowa.
Sunday June 23,
2002
Tags #interview, #long story, #bank story, #argued, #admit mistake, #landmark court case, #bank claims, #dumb guy, #fit in
Transcript
The Boss is with another man and introduces him to Dilbert. The Boss says, "Dilbert, I'd like you to interview Matt for our department." Dilbert asks Matt, "There's a three-year gap in your work history. What were you doing?" Matt replies, "One day I was balancing my checkbook and noticed a bank error." Matt continues, "So I embarked on a three-year mission to make the bank admit its mistake!" Matt continues, "I worked the phones day and night, rarely eating or bathing." Matt continues, "Then came the sit-ins, the media frenzy and the landmark court case." Matt exclaims, "The bank claimed that seven minus four is three. And I'm like, 'Since when?'" After the interview, The Boss asks Dilbert, "Would he fit in?" Dilbert replies, "Unfortunately, yes."
Monday September 29,
2014
Tags #incompetence, #work culture, #cultural fit, #cultural incompetence, #joking, #new employee, #introductions
Transcript
Boss: Dilbert, meet Larry. He isn't terribly competent, but he's a good cultural fit. Dilbert: Hi, Larry. Thanks for reinforcing our culture of incompetence. Larry: You're joking about the incompetence, right. Boss: Sure.