Search Results for "times of uncertainty"
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Character
Thursday January 27,
2000
Tags #back in 10, #managers, #over communicate, #times of uncertainty, #you're fired, #ted fired
Transcript
The boss says to Ed: "Ed, the experts say managers should over-communicate during times of uncertainty." The boss screams at Ed: "You're fired, you're fired, you're fired, you're fired, you're fired!." Ed looks surprised. The boss says to Ed: "I'll come back in ten minutes to do that again." Ed looks angry.
Friday January 13,
2012
Tags #business failures/bankruptcies, #saving & investment, #raises, #debt crisis, #economic uncertainty, #board of directors, #stock options, #money
Transcript
Boss: I can't give you a raise because the Elbonian debt crisis has created economic uncertainty. Luckily for us, our board of directors granted our CEO more stock options so he won't leave during uncertain times. Dilbert: What happens when the uncertainty ends? Boss: Then he'll exercise stock options.
Thursday March 01,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #uncle, #picture, #eleven, #purple, #hearts, #william, #wounded, #times, #war, #warfare
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the couch looking through a photo album. Dilbert says, "Here's a picture of my uncle just before he was drafted. He was awarded eleven purple hearts." Dogbert asks, "He was wounded eleven times?!" Dilbert replies, "Uncle William insisted that his friends call him 'Will' . . ." Three soldiers kneel in a trench. A commanding officer yells, "Okay, men, fire at will!!" and the other soldiers look at Will.
Friday March 09,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #arm chair, #quiet times, #delicious, #silence, #noise, #annoying, #inane, #chatter
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dilbert says, "I really enjoy these quiet times we have." Dilbert continues, "Just delicious silence. No annoying noise. No inane chatter." Dogbert says, "Apparently you don't listen to you, either."
Wednesday July 18,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #woman, #eye, #contact, #uncontrollable, #urge, #blink, #twnety, #times
Transcript
Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. The woman says, "I like a man who makes eye contact." Dilbert thinks, "Uh no . . . Uncontrollable urge to look away . . . I've got to blink about twenty times. Why did she have to bring that up?" Dilbert covers his eyes, screams, knocks his drink over and blinks repeatedly. The woman turns to the reader and says, "I love doing that."
Saturday May 11,
1991
Tags #Dogbert, #solve, #mystery, #dilbert's, #garbage man, #neckties, #present, #mysteries, #fuel, #wonder, #times, #apparently, #existential
Transcript
Dogbert sits on a trashcan and says to the garbage man, "Maybe I'll never solve the mystery of why Dilbert's neckties curl up." The garbage man says, "Sometimes, Dogbert, life presents us with mysteries to fuel our sense of wonder . . . It stimulates us to reach beyond ourselves to something greater." Dogbert asks, "This isn't one of those times, is it?" The garbage man says, "Apparently not."
Thursday August 29,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #sounds, #less, #million, #times, #french, #short, #tempered, #mockingly
Transcript
Dilbert says to a short man, "Hi, Les." Les says, "You say that almost mockingly." Les continues, "The way you say it, my name sounds like 'Less.' I've told you a million times it's French -- pronounced 'Lez.'" Dilbert says, "You seem a little short-tempered." Les says, "Hey! That time you did it on purpose!!"
Friday April 24,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #choke, #death, #end, #date, #early, #work, #trick, #jillion, #times
Transcript
Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. The woman grabs her throat and says, "Mphf! Aack! Cough! Hmp! Gurgle!" As the woman slumps onto the table, Dilbert says, "If you're pretending to choke to death to end our date early, it won't work." The woman sits up and crosses her arms. Dilbert says, "Like I haven't seen that trick a jillion times."
Thursday March 10,
1994
Tags #no raises, #no promotions, #mathematical certainty, #inflation, #pooer, #uncertainty, #leader, #not just manager
Transcript
The Boss: "The company has announced there will be no raises or promotions this year." "Now, there's a mathematical certainty that no matter how hard you work, inflation will make you poorer." Dilbert: "I hated the old way, with all the uncertainty." The Boss: "I'm not just a manager, I'm a leader!"
Tuesday July 25,
1995
Tags #change, #prehistoric times, #ancestors, #caves, #grunting, #not very productive, #all day long
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk and faces Wally who is holding a cup of coffee. Dilbert says to Wally, "It's amazing how much we've changed since prehistoric times." Dilbert continues, "Our ancestors just sat around in caves, grunting and drawing on the wall." Wally comments, "Not very productive." Dilbert draws crude pictures on the blackboard in his cubicle. He tells Wally, "It was just this, all day long." Wally answers, "Mmm. Yup."