Tissue Comic Strips
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Character
7 Results for Tissue
View 1 - 7 results for tissue comic strips. Discover the best "Tissue" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday April 19,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #tissue, #box, #feminine, #design, #sexist, #statement, #Dogbert, #grocery story
Transcript
Dilbert stands in a supermarket aisle looking at a box of tissue. Dilbert thinks, "Every single tissue box has a feminine design." Dilbert thinks, "Men have noses too. This is sexist. I can't support this practice." Back at home, Dilbert puts the bag of groceries on the kitchen counter. Dogbert asks, "Sandpaper?" Dilbert replies, "I had to make a statement."
Friday January 23,
1998
Tags #flu, #germs, #fly through air, #sneezed, #tissue, #sick, #ill, #contagious, #office illness, #medical
Transcript
An unnamed flunky says, "Don't worry about my flu, Alice. Germs don't fly through the air." He sneezes so hard his tissue is blown out of his hand. Aachooo! He looks at Alice and says, "Remember, germs don't fly through the air." ALice's hair is pushed back as if in the middle of a wind storm. She pushes up her sleeves, preparing to punch the guy and says, "Yours are gonna."
Monday July 19,
1999
Tags #free tissues, #engineers, #tissue, #secretary, #desk, #box
Transcript
Dilbert stands by Carol's desk where a box of tissues sit. Dilbert says, "May I have a tissue?" Carol says, "NO!" Carols says, "Why should the low-paid secretary provide free tissues to engineers?" Wally walks by and says, "Hey, free tissues!" Carol clenches her fists and says, "Gaaa!"
Sunday July 26,
1998
Tags #hallway, #boss, #Dilbert, #tissue, #write down, #rips, #ink blot, #mishandled, #ignored
Transcript
Dilbert says to the Boss, "I need some management fire power." Dilbert begins explaining to the Boss, "The VP of marketing says we can't use the vendor we selected." The Boss fumbles in his pocket and says, "Let me write this down." Dilbert asks, "Do you want some paper?" The Boss replies, "No, I'll just use this tissue...oops." Dilbert continues, "Anyway, the other vendor can't deliver." The Boss continues to make a bess of the tissue. He says, "Oops." Dilbert stops and says, "I have some note paper." The Boss continues, making a mess, saying, "No, this is fine. Oops." Dilbert says, "All you have is a blotch on a scrap." The Boss replies, "It's more of a reminder than a detailed note." The Boss sits at his desk with several little scraps of paper spread out before him. He thinks, "Hmmm...It's not so useful when I put it with the others."
Sunday May 26,
2013
Tags #cheeseburger, #dead man walking, #deception, #dried apricot, #heart, #inventions, #medical diagnosis, #program to hate, #neutrino sensor
Transcript
Wally: I programmed our robot to make medical diagnoses. It can scan your body using its neutrino sensor. Robot, please demonstrate. Robot: Dead man walking! Boss: What? Robot: Your brain is the size of a dried apricot. Your heart is more cheeseburger than human tissue. You will be dead in eleven days, six hours, and nineteen minutes. Boss: Gaaa!!! Robot: Why did you program me to hate people? Wally: It was easier than inventing a neutrino sensor.
Wednesday March 23,
2016
Rat With An Ear On His Back
Tags #biology, #experiment, #human tissue, #lab, #rat, #regeneration, #science, #technology, #guest artist, #joel friday
Transcript
Tablet: Scientists grew a human ear on the back of a rat. When asked for a comment, the rat said, "Hey, get this ear off my back. I didn't agree to this." The lead scientist on the project said, "Great. Now you made it all weird."
Friday November 15,
2019
Stay Home When Sick
Tags #office workers, #healthy, #sick, #sneeze, #infect, #deadlines
Transcript
dilbert: maybe you should stay home when you are sick. alice sneezing: honk! i will, but first i need to infect the rest of you so i'm not the only one missing deadlines. can you hold this for me? (passes off tissue to dilbert)