Title Metaphoric Comic Strips
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42 Results for Title Metaphoric
View 1 - 10 results for title metaphoric comic strips. Discover the best "Title Metaphoric" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday December 14,
1996
Tags #quality school, #quality black master, #title metaphoric, #breakout session, #pre course reading
Transcript
The Boss tells Wally, "After I graduate from 'Quality School' I'll be a quality black-belt master." Wally asks, "Is the title metaphoric, or is there a chance you'll be beaten senseless during a breakout session?" The Boss slices the air with his hands as if he were practicing karate and thinks, "Zip zip zip zip." The Boss hits Wally and knocks him to the floor. Wally asks, "Was that necessary?" The Boss replies, "I'm not sure. I haven't done the pre-course reading yet."
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Wednesday April 07,
2021
Title Promotion
Tags #business, #technology, #recognition, #outstanding, #work, #pandemic, #title, #Promotion, #stupid, #raise, #ungrateful, #engineer
Transcript
boss: dilbert, in recognition of your outstanding work during the pandemic, i'm giving you a promotion. dilbert: i don't want a stupid title. i want a raise. what's my new title? boss's voice through phone: "ungrateful engineer."
Friday July 14,
1995
Tags #business cards, #full title, #director, #product enhancemnets, #acronym dope, #product ehancement
Transcript
The Boss says to his secretary who sits at her desk, "Carol, the next time you order my business cards, spell out my full title: 'Director of Product Enhancements.'" The Boss continues, "Don't use the acronym 'DOPE.'" The secretary replies, "I didn't know you were the Director of Product Enhancements."
Thursday December 14,
1995
Tags #secretary, #epiphany, #lowest pais, #job title, #seniorassoicate, #clerical, #mistaken
Transcript
Dilbert stands behind a woman who is sitting at a desk. She says, "Wait-a-minute . . . I'm starting to realize something." The woman continues, "My job title is senior associate, yet I spend my time doing clerical work . . . And unless I'm mistaken, I'm the lowest paid employee." Dilbert asks, "Is this a bad time?" The woman ignores him and screams, "Aaagh!! I'm a secretary!"
Monday July 07,
1997
Tags #title of book, #gives away plaot, #hemingway, #imagination, #chick magnet
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert walk through the park. Dilbert is wearing a jogging suit and holds a Frisbee. He says, "I hate it when the title of a book gives away the whole plot." Dilbert throws the Frisbee. He says, "Take Hemingway's "Old Man and the Sea." Geez, talk about leaving nothing to the imagination." The Frisbee lies on the ground. Dilbert says, "I guess the odds were very low that you would leap in the air and catch that." Dogbert replies, "I'm only here to be a chick magnet."
Saturday October 16,
1999
Tags #two more people, #enough direct reports, #vice president title, #strategy
Transcript
The boss reads a memo and thinks, "If I eliminate the training budget, I can afford to hire two more people." The Boss smirks, and thinks, "Then I'll have enough direct reports to get a vice president title." Dilbert says to The Boss, "Shouldn't we have a strategy?" The Boss says, "I have one. Thanks for asking."
Wednesday August 02,
2000
Tags #promotion in title, #senior vice duke, #imperial majesty, #engineering, #business cards, #vice duke
Transcript
The Boss says to Ted, "Ted, I'm giving you a promotion in title." Ted replies, "Wow!" The Boss continues, "Now you're the Senior Vice Duke and Imperial Majesty of all engineering." Ted turns and asks the Boss, "Can I have business cards now?" The Boss answers, "No, you're only a Vice Duke."
Tuesday November 07,
2000
Tags #boring, #director of information, #e-diot, #easy way, #title
Transcript
Wally says to The Boss, "You should put an 'E-' in front of your title." Wally says, "It's too boring just being the Director of Information, Operations and Technology." The Boss says to his secretary, Carol, "From now on, call me the E-DIOT." Carol says, "If only there were an easy way to remember that."
Monday April 08,
2002
Tags #good news, #promoting work, #pay and title, #Promotion, #scaring me
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, "Good news, Dilbert. I'm promoting you to more work!" The Boss continues, "It's the same pay and title. But it must be good because I called it a promotion and I'm smiling!" The Boss forces a severe smile and says, "Still..smiling..good...news..." Dilbert responds, "You're scaring me."
Tuesday May 07,
2002
Tags #successful fish market, #inspirational book, #characters, #book, #title characters, #depressing
Transcript
The Boss says to Wally, "I'm giving everyone on my staff this inspirational book about a successful fish market!" The Boss continues, "I want you to be like the characters in the book." Wally says to Dilbert, "The title characters get captured, tossed around and eaten." Dilbert looks at the book and says, "Depressing."