tina: are you busy?
wally: yes.
tina: when should i check back?
wally: when i'm not busy.
tina: when are you not busy?
wally: whenever there are no witnesses.
boss: i'm sorry i've been too busy to mentor you lately.
dilbert: were you mentoring me before?
boss: kind of. i was criticizing you in my mind.
dilbert: i think it made me a better person.
Wally: I noticed some inefficiencies in another department, so I formed a Kaizen team to find solutions. I asked some of the peopl in that department to be on the team, but they were busy being inefficient. With any luck, my ignorance of their function will be seen as an aggressive type of objectivity.
Carol: He's busy converting everything you did this year into a complete waste of time. After that, he's scheduled to lower our morale. Then he'll be stirring up trouble in other departments. Dilbert: How's tomorrow look? Carol: He'll be under-communicating all day.
Alice: Don't talk to me now, Im trying to think.
ONE HOUR LATER
Alice: Im on the phone.
TWO HOURS LATER
Alice: Im late for a meeting.
THREE HOURS LATER
Alice: Come back when Im not busy.
FOUR HOURS LATER
ALICE: Please. Im trying to eat my lunch.
FIVE HOURS LATER
Alice: Okay. this is a perfect time, what can I do for you?
Dilbert: Okay, so....
ring
Alice: I think your problem is bad timing.
Co-worker: You never answer when I call your cell. Wally: My battery is dead. Co-worker: Maybe you should charge it for once. Wally: I don't have time for that. Co-worker: What do you do all day that makes you so busy? Wally: For starters, I have this conversation a lot.
Dogbert sits on a pillow thinking, "I should keep myself busier." Dogbert continues thinking, "Time flies when you're busy . . ." Dogbert continues thinking, "Which means you die sooner. I better sit right here."
Dilbert: I'd fix it myself but I know it takes special tools... Plus I would just have to order a part... And I'm pretty busy...
Ed: Take two of these...
Dilbert: "Engineer's pills?"
Ed: They'll knock you out until I'm gone.
Dogbert: I always thought you beavers were busy all the time.
Beaver: That's a common stereotype. I'm actually quite lazy.
Dogbert: How do you build your beaver home?
Beaver: I rent.
DOGBERTS TECH SUPPORT
Dogbert sits at a desk and says into the phone, "Please wait while I consult with somebody who has your exact same problem." Ratbert sits in the chair next to Dogbert. Dogbert asks him, "How do you compensate for a tiny brain, Ratbert?" Ratbert answers, "I just say I'm way too busy to learn. Then I get somebody else to do my work." Dilbert says into the phone, "I'm going to transfer you to an expert." Ratbert says, "Sometimes I pretend to be dead."
