Took Root Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

162 Results for Took Root

View 1 - 10 results for took root comic strips. Discover the best "Took Root" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #busy work, #cubicle, #nice day, #took root, #man into tree

View Transcript

Transcript

Dibert is sitting in his chair, facing a standing coworker. Dilbert says, "Okay... I think we're done here. Lots of work to do. Busy, busy, busy." The coworker begins to shake and transform. Branches sprout from his head and arms and his lower body becomes a tree stump. Dilbert is unaffected. He says, "I'll talk to you later. Have a nice day. Bye-bye. Thanks." The coworker has mutated into a full tree. Wally leans over the cubicle wall and says to Dilbert, "Looks like someone took root in your cubicle." Dilbert, now facing his computer and still unaffected, only says, "Bye-bye."

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #sues, #ratbert, #wtiness, #alone, #drinking, #root, #beer, #underwear, #sickness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert's lawyer says, "I call Ratbert as my first witness." Ratbert sits on the witness stand. The attorney asks, "Is it true that Dilbert is a secret cat lover who often betrayed the trust of his faithful dog?" Ratbert replies, "It's true." Ratbert continues, "I often found him alone drinking root beer and reading 'Cat Fancy' magazine in his underwear . . . It's a sickness."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employee survey, #no startegy, #quality team, #root cause, #employees are ninnies, #more stock options

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "The employee survey showed that 95% of the company believes we have no consistent strategy." The Boss continues, "So the executives formed a 'quality team' to determine the root cause of the problem." A man points to a chart and says to three people seated at a table, "We've narrowed it down to either 'employees are ninnies' or 'we deserve more stock options.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogbert the consultant, #took adice, #formed buisness, #compmay, #spend time fighting, #guarantee future business, #expired

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dogbert, "We took your advice and formed business units within the company . . ." As Wally and another employee fight with each other in the background, the Boss continues, "Now we spend all of our time fighting with each other about who does what." The Boss asks Dogbert, "What exactly did you mean when you said it would 'guarantee future business?'" Dogbert says, "Oh look - my contract just expired."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #all day meetings, #cutting staff, #giving stats reports, #layers, #quality team meeting, #root cause, #slow computers, #slow design, #wild guesses

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Thank you all for coming to our engineering quality team meeting. Dilbert: Today we'll try to identify the root cause of our slow design process. Wally: Let me take some wild guesses here. Management keeps increasing our work and cutting our staff. Wally: we spend all out time giving status reports to unnecessary layers of management!! Wally: ow we're having all -day meetings to talk about our efficiency!! Dilbert: I was kinda hoping for some thing that inst anybody fault. Our computers are too slow. we need new ones, Dilbert: now we're getting someplace.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #negative number, #square root, #strategic plan, #timeline, #mobius strip

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in the boss' office. Dilbert says, "I found some numbers that support your strategic plan." Dilbert looks at a piece of paper and says, "I had to take the square root of a negative number to do it." Dilbert says, "The timeline is on the mobius strip." The boss says, "Good work."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogcart one hour course, #executive mba, #took money, #nothing in retrurn, #case study

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss and others are listening to Dogbert who plays the role of a teacher in front of a classroom. Dogbert says: "Welcome to the Dogbert one-hour executive MBA course." Dogbert says while wagging it's tail: "Notice that I took your money and I'm giving you almost nothing in return." Dogbert says: "That was a case study." "We have time for one more."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #planning weddings, #temporary zombie division, #raising babies, #divorcing, #took dog, #good places booked

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss approaches a worker who is sitting in front of her computer, arms outstretched and eyes fixed. The boss says, "Helen, I'm transferring you to the temporary zombie division." Pushing Helen along, the boss says, "You will be with other people who are planning weddings, raising babies and divorcing." Helen is amid other zombie like workers, all with outstretched arms. A worker says, "She took my dog." Helen says, "All the good places are booked."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #celan desk award, #winner, #facilities people, #appeared unused, #higher tax bracket, #asok, #intern, #desk, #took desk

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss points to Asok and says, "Asok is the winner of the $25 'Clean Desk Award.'" Asok responds, "Yesterday the facilities people took my desk because it appeared to be unused." Asok sits on the floor in his cubicle. He thinks, "I hope this doesn't bump me into a higher tax bracket."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cutomers, #delivery, #business, #took money, #winner, #lied

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to The Boss, "A customer keeps asking when we'll deliver the stuff they bought." The Boss asks, "When will we?" Dilbert responds, "Never, you lied to them to get their business." Dilbert continues, "You took their money and gave them nothing. Do you know what that makes you?" The Boss exclaims, "The winner!"