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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 14, 2013's comic on:

Tags #Family, #right to asylum, #surveillance, #execute dilbert, #treason, #top secret data, #graves, #shovel, #backyard

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NSA Agent: Your son is a traitor who stole top-secret data from his own government. We'd like you to talk him into leaving the Elbonian embassy so we can execute him for treason.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 21, 2012's comic on:

Tags #bury, #top secret, #proprietary, #documents, #woods, #shovel, #tied up, #mumble

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Boss: I need you to bury some top secret proprietary documents in the woods for me. Man: Mmm mmph. Boss: Come back in ten minutes.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 15, 1997's comic on:

Tags #contract employees, #evil totalitarian, #military technology, #north elbonia, #project, #regime, #top secret

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The Boss says, "Dilbert, I hired some contract employees from North Elbonia to help on your project." Dilbert says, "North Elbonia is an evil totalitarian regime. My project will create top secret military technology to use against them." The Boss says, "Sure, but you have to weigh that against the fact that they're willing to work for free."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 16, 1997's comic on:

Tags #communist north elbonian contractors, #top secret military project, #executed for treason, #legal department, #execution instead

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Dilbert waves his arms in the air and says, "I'm a little concerned about your hiring communist North Elbonian contractors to help on my top secret military project." The Boss reads a newspaper and says, "Don't worry. What's the worst thing that could happen?" Dilbert says, "I could be executed for treason." The Boss says, "Talk to our legal department." Dilbert says, Could I opt for the execution instead?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 19, 2003's comic on:

Tags #100 hrs a week, #ask for raise, #top secret facilit, #super genius, #resume, #honest, #take one, #know one

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An interviewee says to The Boss, "If you hire me, I'll work a hundred hours a week and never ask for a raise!" The interviewee continues, "I went to school at a top-secret facility for super geniuses; that's why it's not on my resume." The Boss says to Catbert, "And I'm sure it's all true because he says he's honest!" Catbert replies, "Apparently it doesn't take one to know one."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 1997's comic on:

Tags #company lawyer, #secret military project, #north elbonians, #communits, #guilty of treason, #executed, #pull a lever

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Dilbert sits down with the lawyer and says, "I'm working ona top secret military project. My boss hired some North Elbonians to help me." Dilbert says, "They're communists. If I give them any information, I could be guilty of treason. I could be executed." Dilbert asks, "Can you help?" The lawyer says, "Sure. What would I have to do - pull a lever?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 23, 2008's comic on:

Tags #elbonian spies, #stole lap top, #confidentail data, #virus, #destroy morale, #hope, #business plan

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Dilbert says, "Elbonian spies stole my laptop and all of our confidential data." Dilbert says, "But don't worry, because I placed a virus in there that will destroy their morale and their hope." Dilbert says, "I believe you call it your 'business plan.'"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 30, 2009's comic on:

Tags #secret, #research, #gmail, #email, #lying, #talking, #director, #coffee, #science

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Wally says, "The director of our top secret research group wants to borrow me for six months." Wally says, "During that time, you will not know where I am or what I'm working on." The Boss says, "I need to hear this from the director." Wally says, "I'll ask him to email you from his gmail account."

Remember Or Rumor

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Remember Or Rumor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 20, 2017's comic on:

Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #ruse, #trick, #ego, #top secret, #project

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Boss: What is this "Red File" people keep telling me you're working on? Wally: Do you remember giving me this secret project, or should I spread the rumor that you have dementia? Boss: Oh, now I sort of remember. Wally: Good. Now run along while I work on the red file.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 06, 2004's comic on:

Tags #bridery, #boss, #bribery dvd, #prepping, #money, #offer, #sly, #meeting, #drinks, #top secret, #business

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"If you recommend my company's product to your board, there might be a little something for you later." "Before you decide, look at this DVD titled, 'Is bribery right for you?'" "The narrator might refer to you by name when she dances."