Search Results for "totally incomprehensible"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.
1 - 10 of 180

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 16, 1998's comic on:

Tags #legalese, #totally incomprehensible, #legal rights, #involuntary biological testing

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of Carol's desk. Dilbert holds a piece of paper. Dilbert says, "You expect me to sign this? The legalese is totally incomprehensible." Carol hands Dilbert a pen. Carol says, "You will." Dilbert is mad. Dilbert says, "Do you expect me to give up legal rights just because it's too hard to figure out what any of it means?" Carol says, "Yes." Carol sys, "And initial the "involuntary boilogical testing" box. Dilbert looks annoyed. Dilbert signs and says, "Okay, okay!"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 29, 1994's comic on:

Tags #new strategy, #tech support, #that customers, #user manual, #defective products

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Our new strategy is to make defective products and charge for technical support. Heh- heh ...our user manual is totally incomprehensible. we didn't plan it that way - we were lucky, Dilbert: Im so proud to be here. The Boss: It all came together when I realized I hate our customers.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 05, 2012's comic on:

Tags #suspicion, #assemble data, #boring work, #quality over quality, #poor politics, #office politics

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to assemble a huge amount of totally incomprehensible data. Make it boring so no one looks at it too closely. I'm aiming for quantity over quality. Dilbert: I have a bad feeling about this. Boss: No one would pay you to feel good.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 13, 2011's comic on:

Tags #depression (mental state), #despair, #unfulfilled, #totally worthless, #coffee maker, #breakroom, #distract

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I am unfulfilled at my job. When does that feeling go away? Dilbert: Asok, you shouldn't think you're totally worthless. Asok: Um... I didn't say I was worthless. Dilbert: I'm trying to take your mind off of the other thing.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 28, 2011's comic on:

Tags #annoyance, #cruelty, #impossible, #totally worthless, #vacations

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: It's impossible to get anything done this time of year because everyone who isn't totally worthless is on vacation. Dilbert: None taken.

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 2011's comic on:

Tags #anger, #marriage, #fist of work, #feel the wrath, #totally legal, #eye canons, #single, #higher setting, #politically incorrect, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I have been informed that it is politically incorrect to use my fist of death at work. So fell the wrath of my totally legal eye cannons! Noise: Budddabudda!! Asok: Gaa!! Alice: Oops. I didn't know you were single. Married guys can take a higher setting.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 04, 1992's comic on:

Tags #office workers, #Dilbert, #Wally, #the boss, #understand, #sleep, #sleep deprivation, #Food, #starve, #artificial, #deadline, #ergle, #flumg, #muddle brained, #incomprehensible, #division, #manager

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Tim, "I understand you've been going without sleep or food for days just to meet some artificial deadline." Tim mumbles incoherently. The Boss continues, "As a result, your work has been muddle-brained and incomprehensible. You leave me no choice, Tim." Wally says to Dilbert, "Tim got promoted to division manager." Dilbert replies, "I wonder if he knows it."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 02, 1994's comic on:

Tags #process engineering consultant, #totally objective, #dont care, #right attitude, #flowing robe, #cherubs

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: "You should hire me as your process reengineering consultant." "I would be totally objective about what jobs to eliminate. Frankly, I don't care about anybody at your company!" Dilbert: "You've got the right attitude." Dogbert: "I think I'll wear a flowing robe and surround myself with cherubs."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 10, 1994's comic on:

Tags #work harder, #box, #cucbicle, #totally unmanageable

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Work harder or I'll have you put in the 'box'. Dilbert: Really? I thought I was already in the box. is the box bigger than my cubicle. The Boss: These people are totally unmanageable,

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 09, 1997's comic on:

Tags #cheetah, #drew lines, #feel bad, #mock you, #morale of the story, #opinions mattered, #pure adrenaline, #shrunk everything, #sprang into action, #totally worthless, #trampoline

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert arrives at home and says to Dogbert, "You're probably wondering how my day was." Dogbert sits on the couch reading a magazine. Dilbert says, "It was terrible . . . Until I did THIS!" Dilbert holds up a diagram. Dilbert sits down and explains, "It all started when I deluded muself into thinking my opinions mattered." Dilbert continues, "I sprang into action like a cheetah on a trampoline!" Dilbert gets up and demonstrates. Dilbert continues, "I drew lines and boxes and arrows for hours. It was pure adrenaline." Dilbert shouts, "Suddenly, trouble struck! It wouldn't fit on one page!!" Dilbert continues, "So I shrunk everything until it was totally unreadable. And it fit!!" Dilbert concludes, "The moral of the story is that you don't have to feel bad just because you're totally worthless." Dogbert says, "I'd mock you but the challenge is gone."