Totally Safe Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

222 Results for Totally Safe

View 1 - 10 results for totally safe comic strips. Discover the best "Totally Safe" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 19, 2002's comic on:

Tags #totally safe, #nuclear power plant, #elbonia, #slacve labor, #woo-hoo

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Wally and Asok, "Our assignment is to design a totally safe nuclear power plant." Wally responds, "Let's put it in Elbonia. That seems safe to me." An Elbonian says to another, "Our offer of cheerful slave labor paid off!" The other responds, "Woo-Hoo!!"

Not In My Town

Thank you for voting.
Not In My Town - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 02, 2019's comic on:

Tags #business, #engineering, #office, #office workers, #nuclear

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i engineered a totally safe design for nuclear power plants. ceo: how sure are you that it is safe? dilbert: one hundred percent. ceo: just keep it away from my town. dilbert: maybe it wasn't an engineering problem after all.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 13, 2011's comic on:

Tags #depression (mental state), #despair, #unfulfilled, #totally worthless, #coffee maker, #breakroom, #distract

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I am unfulfilled at my job. When does that feeling go away? Dilbert: Asok, you shouldn't think you're totally worthless. Asok: Um... I didn't say I was worthless. Dilbert: I'm trying to take your mind off of the other thing.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 28, 2011's comic on:

Tags #annoyance, #cruelty, #impossible, #totally worthless, #vacations

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: It's impossible to get anything done this time of year because everyone who isn't totally worthless is on vacation. Dilbert: None taken.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 2011's comic on:

Tags #anger, #marriage, #fist of work, #feel the wrath, #totally legal, #eye canons, #single, #higher setting, #politically incorrect, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I have been informed that it is politically incorrect to use my fist of death at work. So fell the wrath of my totally legal eye cannons! Noise: Budddabudda!! Asok: Gaa!! Alice: Oops. I didn't know you were single. Married guys can take a higher setting.

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 03, 1991's comic on:

Tags #murder, #forever, #safe, #optimist, #pessimist, #1957, #due

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in a chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dilbert says, "Our town hasn't had a murder since 1957." The caption says, "Definition of an optimist." Dilbert thinks, "We're safe forever." The caption says, "Definition of a pessimist." Dogbert thinks, "We're due."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 02, 1994's comic on:

Tags #process engineering consultant, #totally objective, #dont care, #right attitude, #flowing robe, #cherubs

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: "You should hire me as your process reengineering consultant." "I would be totally objective about what jobs to eliminate. Frankly, I don't care about anybody at your company!" Dilbert: "You've got the right attitude." Dogbert: "I think I'll wear a flowing robe and surround myself with cherubs."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 10, 1994's comic on:

Tags #work harder, #box, #cucbicle, #totally unmanageable

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Work harder or I'll have you put in the 'box'. Dilbert: Really? I thought I was already in the box. is the box bigger than my cubicle. The Boss: These people are totally unmanageable,

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 07, 1995's comic on:

Tags #new dress policy, #allows casual clothes, #stick plunge, #friday, #only safe day, #policy stupid

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits on his couch and Dogbert perches on the backrest. Dilbert tells Dogbert, "Our new dress policy at work allows casual clothes on Fridays." Dogbert responds, "That's good, because studies have shown that Fridays are the ONLY safe day to dress casually; any other day would cause a stock plunge." Dilbert asks, "Is it just me or is that policy stupid?" Dogbert says, "That's not an 'or' question."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 17, 1996's comic on:

Tags #no downsizing, #job is safe, #quality good news, #going downhill

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Wally, "Good news, Wally. Most of our smart employees quit to get much better jobs elsewhere. Now we don't have to do any downsizing." The Boss continues, "Your job is safe. We need you to do the work of all the people who left." Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit at a table eating lunch. Wally asks, "Is it just me . . . or is the quality of 'good news' really going downhill lately?" Dilbert replies, "I'd have to say you're both going downhill."