Search Results for "toxic relationship"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.
1 - 10 of 35

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 25, 2015's comic on:

Tags #alienation, #deception, #strategy, #toxic, #toxic relationship, #work ethic, #useless, #ambitous, #meetings, #incomplete information, #anxious, #hateful

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I'm already useless, but I'm thinking about becoming toxic as well. Dilbert: That seems ambitious for you. Wally: Think it through. As a useless person, I still get invited to meetings because I don't cause much trouble. But if I go full-toxic, no one will invite me to meetings in the first place. I can avoid a lot of work by nipping it in the bud. Dilbert: Is it hard to be toxic? How do you do it? Wally: It's easy. All you do is provide incomplete information that makes people anxious and hateful. I can't tell you what was said in that last meeting, but I defended you.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 10, 2011's comic on:

Tags #anger, #quarreling, #mastered art, #being useless, #next level, #toxic, #toxic people, #complain, #personal problems

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Each of you has already mastered the art of being useless at work. It's time to take it to the next level. Today I will teach you how to be toxic. Toxic people talk about two types of things. One: bring up topics that are sure to cause others to fight. Two: complain about your personal problems at every opportunity. Your homework is to practice at work tomorrow. Wally: I mentioned to Alice that you think her plan is kind of lame.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 15, 1989's comic on:

Tags #date, #flowers, #invention, #relationship

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert look at a holograph of a flower bouquet. Dilbert says, "The big advantage of my holographic flower invention is that you get infinite simulated bouquets." Dilbert continues, "You can give it to a girlfriend and program it to change on all special occasions." Dilbert says, "Just think of the money you can save over a relationship." Dogbert asks, "By never having a second date?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 25, 1991's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #minute, #pen, #farewell, #been, #true, #wind, #love, #you, #personal, #relationship, #brenda

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk. Wally enters his cubicle and asks, "May I borrow your pen for a minute?" Dilbert says to his pen, "Farewell, little friend. You have always been true. May the wind be at your back. I . . . I . . . Love you . . ." Wally hands the pen back to Dilbert and says, "Uh . . . Could I borrow one which you've had less of a personal relationship with?" Dilbert asks, "How about Brenda?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 29, 1993's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #center, #universe, #described, #terms, #relationship, #brain

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert walk outdoors. Dogbert says, "I've decided to be the center of the universe." Dogbert continues, "All of the things in the universe can now be described in terms of their relationship to me." Dilbert and Dogbert sit on a rock. Dilbert says, "I don't understand why you're doing this." Dogbert replies, "That's because your brain is only a half-Dogbert."

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 27, 2003's comic on:

Tags #toxic tom, #new coworker, #potatoe, #too many questions

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss introduces a new employee to Dilbert, "Dilbert, meet your new co- worker, Toxic Tom." The Boss continues, "He complained about his last job all through his interview. But he'll be happy here." Once The Boss is gone, Toxic Tom says to Dilbert, "He says he thinks you're stupid because you ask too many questions."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 28, 2003's comic on:

Tags #big mouth, #bloated, #employee, #taunting, #toxic co worker

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: The Toxic Co-worker. Toxic Tom approaches Alice and says, "You wouldn't believe what people are saying about you." Toxic Tom continues, "I tried to defend you. I said you look slow only because you're bloated." Toxic Tom continues, "But what ticks me off is that everyone in the department earns more than you do." Alice clenches her teeth and holds back her fist.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 01, 2003's comic on:

Tags #fire toxic co worker, #lazy and ineffectual, #selfish, #toxic guy, #Wally

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, Wally, and Alice approach The Boss. Dilbert says, "We demand that you fire our toxic co-worker." Wally turns to Dilbert and asks, "You aren't talking about me, are you?" Dilbert turns and says, "No, you're lazy and ineffectual with an overlay of selfish." Wally asks, "And I hate the toxic guy?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 30, 2012's comic on:

Tags #controlling gaze, #lazy, #management experts, #managers & supervisors, #one on one meetings, #regular does, #theiveing, #underlings, #work ethic, #toxic saboteur, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Management experts say bosses should have frequent one-on-one meeting with underlings. Apparently, you need regular doses of my controlling gaze to prevent you from evolving into a lazy, thieving, toxic saboteur. Carol: It's working great. So far I feel less lazy about doing the other things you mentioned.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 03, 2013's comic on:

Tags #anger, #angry, #hateful creature, #hope, #interviews, #job interview, #managers & supervisors, #monster, #optimisim, #smile, #toxic work place, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You remind me of another young person I hired years ago. She was full of hope and optimism and she wore a permanent smile. Her name was Alice. As time passed, she devolved into an angry, hateful creature. No one knows what caused it. Interviewee: How long did it take? Boss: About a week. Interviewee: Apparently, you're a monster who creates a toxic workplace and you lack the self-awareness to realize it! Boss: Someone broke your record. Alice: Shut up.