Traced Source Comic Strips
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36 Results for Traced Source
View 1 - 10 results for traced source comic strips. Discover the best "Traced Source" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday February 14,
2005
Tags #fbi, #traced source, #spam, #revolutionary new pill, #rolex watches, #body fat
Transcript
"FBI, we need to talk to you." "We've traced the source of all internet spam to your house." "All of it?" "...The revolutionary new pill that turns your body fat into rolex watches!"
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Thursday November 03,
1994
Tags #interdisciplinary task force, #source of problem, #xray skull, #decision making process
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, "I'm starting an interdisciplinary task force to study our decision-making process." Dilbert responds, "So, you're using a bad decision-making process to decide how to fix our bad decision-making process?" The Boss says, "I don't know how else we could find the source of our problem." Dilbert says, "X-ray your skull?"
Friday November 03,
1995
Tags #low cost paintings, #walls, #in a frame, #how much paintings, #corporate art source, #dogbert art dealer
Transcript
Dogbert and the Boss sit at a table looking at a catalog. Dogbert says, "The 'Dogbert Corporate Art Source' will provide low-cost paintings for your walls." Dogbert continues, "Our motto is 'if it's in a frame it will look like art to you.'" The Boss asks, "How much do the paintings cost?" Dogbert replies, "Six dollars a pound."
Sunday April 12,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #guide, #movie, #advertising, #thumbs, #nominated, #academy, #award, #stallone, #funniest, #masterpledge, #source, #farm
Transcript
The panel is titled, "Dogbert's Guide to Movie Advertisements." Dogbert says, "Trust me." The advertisement says, "'Thumbs up.' -Gene Siskel." Dogbert says, "Meaning: Roger Ebert hates it." The advertisement says, "'Nominated for an Academy Award.'" Dogbert says, "Notice they don't say for what -- probably 'Best Gaffer.'" The advertisement says, "'Funniest movie of the year.'" Dogbert says, "He saw it in mid-January." The advertisement says, "Four stars . . . A masterpiece!'" Dogbert says, "The movie studio only paid off one critic. Must be a low-budget film." The advertisement says, "'Powerful performances.'" Dogbert says, "It's a downer. Somebody probably gets a disease and loses the farm." The advertisement says, "'I loved it!' -Floyd Belcher, Nosehair Magazine." Dogbert says, "Remember to consider the source." The advertisement says, "Stallone's funniest movie yet." Dogbert says, "I think you get the hang of it."
Saturday January 16,
1999
Tags #internet start up, #dominant internet source, #tuna snadwhiches
Transcript
Dilbert stands in Wally's cubicle. Wally is at his computer. Dilbert says, "How's your internet start-up company coming?" Wally says, still sporting a pontail,"Good." Wally says, "My plan is to be the dominant internet source for tuna sandwiches." Dilbert says, "So if I buy one, you ship it overnight?" Wally says, "no, you have to come and pick it up."
Sunday March 19,
2000
Tags #dozen bugs, #bugs in software, #fix for 20k, #defective porduct, #evil euphria, #no choice, #making fortune, #single source tsrategy
Transcript
Dilbert tells a salesman: "We found a dozen bugs in the software you sold us." The salesman answers: "We can fix these bugs for $20,000. Dilbert is shocked: "What?" Dilber says: "You can't charge us to fix you own defective product!" The salesman laughs boisterously. He explains: "Sorry...I was overcome by an evil euphoria." Dilbert says: "I guess we have to pay. We have no choice!" Reaching for his cell-phone, the salesman says: "Excuse me." The salesman speaks into his cell-phone: "Put more bugs in the software! I'm making a fortune out here!" Dilbert thinks: "I'm starting to question our single source strategy."
Saturday March 13,
2004
Tags #manipulate, #lying, #Advice, #mayo clinic, #victim to source
Transcript
Dogbert: "You can manipulate people by lying about what other people said." "If your victim goes to the source and discovers your treachery, say, of course he tells you that." Dilbert: "Your advice doesn't sound healthy." Dogbert: "That's not what the Mayo Clinic said."
Wednesday September 08,
2004
Tags #single source vendor, #job offer, #vp title, #waiting eriod
Transcript
The boss: Okay, I convinced my company to make you our single source vendor. I assume you'll be make me a job offer now. any vp title will be fine. I'll just take an empty office. There ...is...a...waiting period!!
Tuesday February 15,
2005
Tags #fbi, #internet spam, #source, #fbi director, #dress up, #mammals, #creepy
Transcript
FBI. We have reason to believe that you're the source of all internet apam."I'm the director of the FBI. And you're both fired." "I'd heard that he likes to dress up as other mammals." "Creepy."
Thursday June 21,
2007
Tags #green consultant, #source of methane, #free source, #energy, #small office, #give, #butt, #hose, #pants, #health
Transcript
Dogbert the green consultant Dogbert: "Your coworkers have identified you as a source of methane." Dogbert: "If we capture this free source of energy we can power a small office building." Wally: "I give and I give."