Track Things Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

444 Results for Track Things

View 1 - 10 results for track things comic strips. Discover the best "Track Things" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 07, 2007's comic on:

Tags #manage spreadsheet, #track things, #problems, #cute optimism, #pretty fuzzy

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: I've decided to manage by spreadsheet. "I'll track things until all of our problems fix themselves." CatBert: "Your optimism is cute." The Boss: "Thanks. You're pretty fuzzy yourself."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 03, 2011's comic on:

Tags #couples, #dating, #play games, #guess the lie, #say 2 things, #dating games, #obvious things, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: Let's play a game. We each say two things about ourselves and the other has to guess which one is a lie. Dilbert: I love to play games like that. My second thing is that I eat food.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 18, 2011's comic on:

Tags #declare failure, #explaining things, #frustration, #incompetence, #office workers, #partial victory, #platform upgarde, #teds brain, #trapped

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Ted can explain what you need to do before the platform upgrade. Dilbert: No he can't. Ted's brain is where knowledge goes to die. He's not good at explaining things. The knowledge might be in his brain, but it's trapped there. Unfortunately, Ted's incompetence is so unbelievable that you literally don't believe me. In time, you will assume that Ted taught me well but I forgot all of it. I'm doomed before I start. Let's just declare failure and move on. Boss: That works for me. Dilbert: Partial victory.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 27, 1991's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #great, #things, #dog, #nap, #time, #want, #tired, #hate, #life, #Dogbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert thinks, "One of the great things about being a dog is that we can take a nap any time we want." Dogbert continues thinking, "Sometimes we do it because we're tired." Dogbert lies on his back as Dilbert walks by carrying a briefcase. Dogbert thinks, "But mostly, we do it to make you hate your life."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 22, 1992's comic on:

Tags #the boss, #dave, #haircut, #management, #fast-track, #program, #hair

View Transcript

Transcript

Dave sits at his desk. The Boss enters and says, "Dave, I hear that you've started cutting your own hair . . ." The Boss continues, "I'm afraid I'll have to drop you from the management fast-track program." The Boss walks away thinking, "Lucky we caught that one before he got too far."

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 27, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #ben, #newest, #fast-track, #manager, #real, #experience, #executive, #style, #hair, #silver

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "Dilbert, I'd like you meet Ben, our newest fast-track manager." Dilbert says, "Hi." The Boss says, "Ben has no real experience but he's very tall, so we know he'll go far." Ben adds, "I also have executive style hair." The Boss says, "We think it will turn silver."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 08, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #government, #general, #kill, #encounter, #space, #aliens, #governments, #track, #record, #budget, #cutbacks, #air, #support

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands next to a man in a military uniform. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "The government sent a General to kill me for talking about my encounter with space aliens." Dilbert continues, "I was scared at first, but when you think about the government's track record, well, my odds are pretty good . . ." Dilbert continues, "Especially after all the budget cutbacks." The General says into a walkie-talkie radio, "Dang it! Where's my air support?!!"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 05, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #creative, #ideas, #worry, #shakes, #Wally, #track, #record, #work, #ahead

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Wally sit at a table eating lunch. Dilbert says, "Sometimes I worry that I'll never be creative again. Maybe my best ideas are behind me." Wally replies, "Oh, I wouldn't worry. Nothing you've done up to now has been any great shakes either." Dilbert says, "Ooh, so maybe my best work is still ahead of me." Wally replies, "Well, you have to consider the track record here."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 1994's comic on:

Tags #sharing meeting, #project, #pathetic series, #poorly planned, #random acts, #emotional desparation, #things are fine, #need a hug

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Let's go around the table and give an update on each of our projects." Man: "My project is a pathetic series of poorly planned, near-random acts. My life is a tragedy of emotional desperation." The boss: "It's more or less customary to say things are going fine." Man: "I think I need a hug."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 06, 1994's comic on:

Tags #about co workers, #donuts, #get prompted, #say bad things, #weight, #woman, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

DOGBERT: If you want to get promoted , say bad things about co workers so you look better by comparison. Dilbert: Geez, Lisa, It looks like you've been hotting the donuts pretty hard lately. Dilbert: heh-hehe...big things are coming my way soon.