Tracker Comic Strips
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8 Results for Tracker
View 1 - 8 results for tracker comic strips. Discover the best "Tracker" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday August 15,
1994
Tags #management fast tracker, #deliver big report, #ceo, #fax, #shredder, #tricked, #punked, #contempt
Transcript
"Hey, Matt. How's our favorite management fast-tracker?" "Great! I've got two minutes to deliver my big report to our CEO. Can you tell me where the fax is?" "Oops, I'm wrong. That's the shredder." "He'll go far in this company." "Bzzzzp."
Sunday July 07,
1996
Tags #performance review, #daughter, #cub girl cookies, #volume level, #downsizer, #low performer, #fast tracker, #united way chairperson
Transcript
The Boss tells Dilbert, "I'll be writing your performance review this afternoon." The Boss continues, "But this morning I'm helping my daughter sell cub girl cookies." The Boss continues, "For your shopping convenience I have assigned a name to each volume level." Dilbert reads, "Zero to four boxes is the 'downsizer' volume . . ." Dilbert reads, "Five to eight boxes is the 'low performer' volume level." Dilbert writes on the order form and says, "Let's say six hundred boxes." The Boss says, "Ahh . . . The 'fast tracker.' An excellent choice." Dilbert asks, "What's your daughter's name?" The Boss says, "Ooh . . . Gotta go." Wally says, "I only bought twelve boxes. Now I'm the 'United Way' chairperson." Dilbert says, "I just signed your name for six hundred more."
Tuesday September 29,
2015
Tags #fitness, #competition, #step, #fitbit, #tracker, #technology, #competitive, #exercise, #walking, #Sports, #health
Transcript
Wally: According to my fitness tracker, I took 20,000 steps yesterday. Alice: What? That's double what I did. You won't win this! I will run to the ends of the earth to beat your step count! Dilbert: Do you really have a fitness tracker? Wally: No, it looks like a lot of work.
Thursday August 13,
2020
Edits Without Tracking
Tags #accident, #business, #complex, #delete, #document, #edit, #email, #face mask, #forgot, #technology, #tracker
Transcript
co-worker: i edited your incredibly complex document and sent it to you by email. dilbert: i don't see your high-lighted changes. co-worker: i forgot to turn on the edit tracker. dilbert: i'm going to accidentally delete your email. co-worker: that's probably how i'd play it too.
Saturday September 19,
2020
Wally's Restroom Time
Tags #covid-19, #managers & supervisors, #responsibility, #employee, #tracker, #men's room, #social distancing, #business, #face mask
Transcript
boss: according to my employee tracker, you spent 45 minutes in stall four of the men's room today. wally: i thought you said the purpose of tracking us was to ensure social distancing. boss: i think you have to accept some responsibility for believing it.
Monday June 15,
2015
Tags #business ethics, #dying, #death, #health, #health tracker, #heart rate monitor, #ads, #scare, #fitbit, #smart watch, #medical
Transcript
Boss: The health sensors and predictive algorithms you built into our smart watch are too good. People are freaked out because it sends alerts to their phones when they have five minutes left to live. Dilbert: Isn't that useful? Boss: It was, until we started sending paid ads as alerts.
Tuesday September 27,
2016
Boss Decision Making
Tags #decisions, #thinking, #stress, #hunger, #fitbit, #health tracker, #health
Transcript
Dilbert: I hacked into your fitness band and analyzed your decision-making under different conditions. When you are hungry, tired, or stressed, you make terrible decisions. Boss: How often is that? Dilbert: Only when you're awake.
Thursday November 16,
2017
Work Until You Drop
Tags #health, #monitor, #fitbit, #energy, #surveillance, #wearable tech, #dedication, #work ethic
Transcript
Boss: Your health tracker says you are leaving work at the end of each day with energy to spare. That's exactly like stealing from the company. Dilbert: You want me to work until I drop? Boss: I'm not allowed to say that directly.