Tragic Comic Strips

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14 Results for Tragic

View 1 - 10 results for tragic comic strips. Discover the best "Tragic" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #tragic, #story, #update, #reported, #killed, #weather, #Sports, #injury, #news, #drove, #pedestrian

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Dilbert sits in his chair watching television and Dogbert sits on the hassock. The newscaster says, "After that tragic story we have an even more tragic update on a previously reported tragedy, then . . ." The news reporter continues, "We'll tell you about people who got killed by the weather. And in sports we profile the injury of the week." The newscaster continues, "And in local news, not much was happening, so we drove the news van around until we hit a pedestrian."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vending machine, #stole money, #sentenced to death, #director human resources, #desensitized, #tragic news, #execution is scheduled

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Dilbert arrives at home carrying a briefcase. Dogbert sits on the couch reading the newspaper. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Today was a bad day. First the vending machine stole my money . . ." Dilbert continues, ". . . And by the end of the day I had been sentenced to death by the director of human resources . . ." Dogbert reads and hums as he ignores Dilbert. Still reading the paper, Dogbert says, "I've become totally desensitized to tragic news!" Dilbert says, "The execution is scheduled for tomorrow. I should call in sick."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bearer, #bead news, #tragic, #find humor, #husband, #village people, #coming back, #relationships

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Dogbert stands on Dilbert's desk and says, "I'm going into business as a professional bearer of bad news." Dogbert continues, "I'll try to find the humor that is inherent in every tragic situation." Dogbert stands on a woman's doorstep. The woman says, "I give up. What IS the difference between my husband and the seventies pop group 'Village People'?" Dogbert says, "They're coming back."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #worked around clock, #ten programmers, #establish new baseline, #tragic death march, #stretch golas, #stupid

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Asok says, "I worked around the clock and finished a project that would normally require ten programmers." Asok says, "Um... did I just establish a new baseline expectation that will turn my job into a tragic death march?" The Boss says, "It's time to set some stretch goals." Asok says, "STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #surplussed ted, #absorb function, #2 jobs one salary, #absorb his funtion, #osmosis, #symbiosis, #syneregy, #key learning, #tragic series, #monkey brained

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"I surplussed Ted. You'll need to absorb his function." "Absorb his function?" "Are you telling me to do two jobs for one salary?" "No, I'm telling you to absorb his function.. in an absorptive fashion." "..Using osmosis, symbiosis, and synergy." "Can you change reality by inventing new names for ordinary things?" "I sure hope so. Otherwise my entire career has been a.. a.." "Tragic series of monkey-brained mistakes?" "Key learning."

Dilbert's Vacation Was Tragic

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Dilbert's Vacation Was Tragic - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vacation, #work, #workload, #work ethic

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Wally: How was your vacation? Dilbert: Tragic. All I did was stay home and watch my personal hygiene decline while my workload here piled up. Wally: You just described my perfect day.

Coronavirus

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Coronavirus - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #24 hours, #business, #coronavirus, #health, #home, #remote, #tragic, #work from home

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dilbert: i'm working at home to avoid the coronavirus. i'll have to stay here 24 hours a day. dogbert: that's tragic. dilbert: i don't mind. dogbert: i meant tragic for me.

Compared To Alice

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Compared To Alice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #comparision, #face mask, #good, #office workers, #punish, #sarcasm, #selfish, #tragic, #work

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alice: you did great work on this...which has the tragic effect of making my work look less good in comparison. dilbert: will you be punishing me for my good work? alice: yes, but think of it as you not being selfish.

Wally's Advice

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Wally's Advice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #audience, #business, #complain, #connection, #droopy, #emotion, #emotional intelligence, #Entertainment, #hate, #medical, #persuasive, #problems, #sad, #sarcasm, #self-deprecating, #slide deck, #spouse, #technology, #tragic, #wife

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boss: if there anything i can do to make my slide deck more persuasive? wally: you need to make an emotional connection with your audience. start with a tragic personal story that makes everyone sad and droopy. then talk about your various medical problems, and don't spare the details. then complain about your wife because most people hate their spouses too, so they can relate. and don't spare the self-deprecating humor because everyone can relate to knowing you are a loser. boss: wow. thank you for that advice. i'll make those changes. dilbert: how much do you hate him? wally: it's more about my entertainment.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #universe, #parallel universe, #vincent van gogh, #ear, #beliefs

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Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert sits on his legs. Dogbert asks, "Did I ever tell you what dogs believe about the universe?" Dogbert explains, "We believe in infinite parallel universes, all slightly different." Dogbert continues, "For example, in our universe, Vincent Van Gogh cut his ear off to demonstrate his love for a woman." Dogbert continues, "But, in a parallel universe, Van Gogh loses the ear in a tragic toe-nail clipping accident . . ." Dogbert continues, ". . . Vinnie clips the nail, and it just goes flyin' up and rips his ear clean off." Dilbert says, "In yet another universe, maybe he had a dog who talked his ear off." Dogbert replies, "This is why dogs rarely discuss their beliefs."