Tragic Death March Comic Strips
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251 Results for Tragic Death March
View 1 - 10 results for tragic death march comic strips. Discover the best "Tragic Death March" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday September 12,
2008
Tags #worked around clock, #ten programmers, #establish new baseline, #tragic death march, #stretch golas, #stupid
Transcript
Asok says, "I worked around the clock and finished a project that would normally require ten programmers." Asok says, "Um... did I just establish a new baseline expectation that will turn my job into a tragic death march?" The Boss says, "It's time to set some stretch goals." Asok says, "STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!"
Sunday January 28,
2018
Tags #assignment, #deadline, #free time, #death march, #payment, #salary, #pay check, #bonus, #non caring, #cold, #heartless monster, #no sense shame, #money
Transcript
The boss: I need this finished by Friday. Dilbert: This assignment will suck up 100% of my free time and turn my happy life into a f=death march. The boss: Thats why we pay you. You pay me so you can ruin my life? The boos: perhaps i said that wrong. The Boss: what I meant is that I don't care how you fell as long as I get my bonus. Dilbert: You're a cold, heartless monster with no sense of shame!!!! The Boss: That why they pay me.
Thursday April 11,
1996
Tags #vending machine, #stole money, #sentenced to death, #director human resources, #desensitized, #tragic news, #execution is scheduled
Transcript
Dilbert arrives at home carrying a briefcase. Dogbert sits on the couch reading the newspaper. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Today was a bad day. First the vending machine stole my money . . ." Dilbert continues, ". . . And by the end of the day I had been sentenced to death by the director of human resources . . ." Dogbert reads and hums as he ignores Dilbert. Still reading the paper, Dogbert says, "I've become totally desensitized to tragic news!" Dilbert says, "The execution is scheduled for tomorrow. I should call in sick."
Tuesday October 02,
2018
Death In The Family
Thursday February 17,
2011
Tags #office buildings, #work ethic, #new cubicles, #death eater gray, #soul sponge, #absorb happiness, #fear of the unknown
Transcript
Office relocation Tina says, "Your new cubicles will be a color called 'death eater gray.'" Tina says, "The fabric is a soul sponge that will absorb your happiness if you stand hear it." The Boss says, "How'd the meeting go?" Tina says, "Well, you know, fear of the unknown." Office Relocation
Saturday July 09,
2011
Tags #lying, #optimism, #projections, #realistic, #optimistic, #near death, #hallucination, #luci dream
Transcript
Boss: Are your projections realistic or optimistic? Dilbert: They're halfway between a lucid dream and a near-death hallucination. Boss: I'll call them "most likely."
Tuesday November 29,
2011
Tags #anxiety, #death & dying, #could go wrong, #did go worng, #closer to death, #creepy
Transcript
Russell: This past week, everything that could go wrong did go wrong. Dilbert: Look on the bright side: you're seven days closer to death. Man: Hey! That's true! Dilbert: It's creepy when that works.
Wednesday June 28,
1989
Tags #death, #waiting, #medical
Transcript
Dilbert says to the Grim Reaper, "Look, Mr. Death, now that you know I'm the wrong guy, why don't you just leave me alone." The Grim Reaper replies, "I hate to waste a trip. Suppose your number comes up tomorrow - I gotta come all the way back. Just let me hang around today. You won't even notice me." Dilbert says, "THIS is gonna be a very long day." The Grim Reaper follows him and asks, "So, how do you feel?"
Saturday February 24,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #fast, #not, #eating, #starved, #death, #fast food
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit in a fast food restaurant. Dogbert asks, "Doesn't 'fast' mean not eating?" Dogbert asks, "So how can you have 'fast food?'" Dogbert asks, "And how much would I have to eat before I starved to death?"
Friday March 16,
1990
Tags #Dogbert, #cheat, #death, #frisbee, #athlete, #scrabble, #allowed, #august, #bone, #boy
Transcript
The caption says, "Dogbert tries to cheat death." The Grim Reaper says to Dogbert, ". . . So, if you catch the Frisbee you can live." Dogbert says, "Wait!" Dogbert continues, "I've never been much of an athlete . . . Let's play 'Scrabble' for my life instead." Dogbert and the Grim Reaper sit at a table playing Scrabble. The Grim Reaper asks, "How much time are you allowed for your turn?" Dogbert replies as he walks away, "I'll see you in August, bone boy."