Tragic News Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

167 Results for Tragic News

View 1 - 10 results for tragic news comic strips. Discover the best "Tragic News" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 11, 1996's comic on:

Tags #vending machine, #stole money, #sentenced to death, #director human resources, #desensitized, #tragic news, #execution is scheduled

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert arrives at home carrying a briefcase. Dogbert sits on the couch reading the newspaper. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Today was a bad day. First the vending machine stole my money . . ." Dilbert continues, ". . . And by the end of the day I had been sentenced to death by the director of human resources . . ." Dogbert reads and hums as he ignores Dilbert. Still reading the paper, Dogbert says, "I've become totally desensitized to tragic news!" Dilbert says, "The execution is scheduled for tomorrow. I should call in sick."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 28, 1993's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #tragic, #story, #update, #reported, #killed, #weather, #Sports, #injury, #news, #drove, #pedestrian

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair watching television and Dogbert sits on the hassock. The newscaster says, "After that tragic story we have an even more tragic update on a previously reported tragedy, then . . ." The news reporter continues, "We'll tell you about people who got killed by the weather. And in sports we profile the injury of the week." The newscaster continues, "And in local news, not much was happening, so we drove the news van around until we hit a pedestrian."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 03, 1997's comic on:

Tags #bearer, #bead news, #tragic, #find humor, #husband, #village people, #coming back, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on Dilbert's desk and says, "I'm going into business as a professional bearer of bad news." Dogbert continues, "I'll try to find the humor that is inherent in every tragic situation." Dogbert stands on a woman's doorstep. The woman says, "I give up. What IS the difference between my husband and the seventies pop group 'Village People'?" Dogbert says, "They're coming back."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 31, 2011's comic on:

Tags #created cold fusion, #jar with light bulb, #more news, #camera guy

View Transcript

Transcript

Press Conference Dogbert says, "As you can clearly see, I have created cold fusion." Man says, "That's not cold fusion. It's just a jar with a lightbulb." Dogbert says, "Here's some more news: No one cares what the camera guy thinks." Woman says, "It's free energy!"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 03, 2011's comic on:

Tags #tv news, #financial report, #tv show, #cable news show, #Dogbert, #gold fillings, #remove your own

View Transcript

Transcript

News anchor: My next guest on money - n- stuff is Dogbert the doomsday pundit, DOgbert: Goldman Sachs is forming a Hobo army to take over the world. Start hoarding anything with a pointy end. DOW 975 DOgbert: Hobo army coming. News Anchor: after the break, learn how to remove your own gold fillings,

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 11, 2012's comic on:

Tags #conversation, #embarrassment, #news letter, #leadership, #sound stupid

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Good news: I signed up to receive a free leadership newsletter by email. I know it's good because it's written by some guy who used to have a job. Stop making everything I say sound stupid!

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 01, 2012's comic on:

Tags #television news, #rogue nations, #nuclear weapons, #polar ice caps, #melting, #unemployment, #brink of default, #retirement, #news

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Rogue nations are building nuclear weapons. The polar ice caps are melting. Unemployment is high. Entire nations are on the brink of default. You aren't saving enough for retirement. Dilbert: What do you have going here? Wally: He said he doesn't pay attention to news. I wondered why.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 1989's comic on:

Tags #news, #newspaper, #Entertainment

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert holds up a newspaper and says to Dilbert, "Look! I've created the world's first completely reusable newspaper." Dilbert reads from the newspaper, "Pope denounces violence . . . Home prices rise . . . Unrest in the Mideast . . ." Dogbert says, "Generic news!" Dilbert reaches into his pocket and asks, "How much?" Dogbert holds out his paw and says, "A thousand bucks. You'll never need another one."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 1989's comic on:

Tags #national news, #critics, #management, #megaslime corporation, #repitilian, #aliens

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair watching a television news report. The newscaster says, "And in national news . . ." The newscaster continues, "Critics today accused the management of Megaslime Corporation of being hideous reptilian aliens bent on enslaving the earth." The newscaster continues, "A spokesman for the company denied the charge." Dilbert says, "Whew!"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 06, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #good, #news, #corners, #doctors, #vet, #better, #scared, #boo

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on his pillow humming. Dilbert sneaks up behind Dogbert and says, "Boo!" Dogbert's ears fly up and he says, "Eeek!" Dogbert sits on an examining table with his ears still standing straight up. The doctor says, "The good news is you'll handle better on corners . . ."