dogbert: i'm dogbert, doctor of the impossible.
boss: does that mean you cure diseases that are believed to be impossible to cure?
dogbert: no, that sounds boring. i prescribe treatments that are impossible to follow. when you fail you don't get better. you'll think it's your own fault.
boss: how does that help anyone but you?
dogbert: hey, i'm not the one who brought it up.
boss: you're giving me a headache.
dogbert: to cure that, i suggest ice-cold baths every six minutes.