Tree Of Knowledge Comic Strips
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Boss: Carol, if you have any issues, just be honest. Don't let anything fester. Carol: I hate every subatomic particle in your pale, doughy body. I hope the tree of knowledge falls on your head so you die ironically. Boss: I need to rethink my no-festering rule. Carol: Tree of knowledge... get it?
Boss: We need to communicate less with other departments. The more they know about us, the more they criticize what we do. Dilbert: Is this part of your larger war on knowledge? Boss: That was the last thing I'll ever tell you.
Boss: I'm getting writer's block trying to come up with your goals for the year. Dilbert: Just write anything. We both know I'll ignore the goals and work on whatever you assign to me. Boss: How will I know if you do a good job if you don't have goals? Dilbert: Same way as always. You'll compare your lack of knowledge about what I did to the goals you imagine you might have created if you could have seen the future. Then you'll give me an average raise just like everyone else who didn't invent nuclear fusion. Boss: Works for me. Dilbert: It's better to not overthink these things.
Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors under a tree. Dogbert says, "If a man eats a pound of pasta and a pound of antipasto . . ." Dogbert continues, ". . . Would they cancel each other out, leaving the man still hungry?" Dilbert says, "I can't imagine Socrates and Plato debating that question." Dogbert asks, "Too hard, huh?"
Dilbert shows Dogbert a photo album and says, "This is Uncle Phil before he died hang gliding." Dogbert asks, "Did he hit a tree?" Dilbert replies, "Let's just say he didn't read the hang glider manual very carefully." Uncle Phil stands on top of a hang glider with a noose around his neck. The other end of the rope is attached to a tree. He thinks, "I wonder if there's another reason it's called hang gliding. Nah . . ."
Dilbert sits at his desk working on his computer and Dogbert sits next to him. Dilbert says, "Knowledge is power, Dogbert." Dilbert continues, "Someday, the people who know how to use computers will rule over those who don't." Dilbert continues, "And they will have a special name for us." Dogbert says, "Secretaries."
Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss enters and says, "I just heard that light travels faster than sound." The Boss continues, "I'm wondering if I should shout when I speak, just so my lips appear to sync-up with my words." Dilbert thinks, "A little knowledge can be a ridiculous thing." The Boss thinks, "He probably hasn't heard me yet."
Dogbert sits in a chair across from a man. Dogbert says, "Every person has natural daily rhythms of mental peaks and troughs. We can use this knowledge to improve your performance." Dogbert hands the man a thermometer and continues, "We use hourly body temperature readings to identify and avoid the troughs." As the man leans back in his chair and waves his arms, Dogbert writes, "One o'clock. We have encountered a severe trough. I fear it could be the dreaded 'El Nino' trough."
Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Your engineering knowledge is good, but I can't promote you to 'prima donna.'" The Boss continues, ". . . Unless you demonstrate a few more serious personality disorders." Dilbert replies, "I can mumble." The Boss says, "Sure, but can you do it with disdain for all of humanity?"