Tried Crounching Comic Strips
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125 Results for Tried Crounching
View 1 - 10 results for tried crounching comic strips. Discover the best "Tried Crounching" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday February 24,
1999
Tags #Catbert, #hr director, #boss treats, #furniture, #dangerous predent, #new position, #tried crounching
Transcript
Caption: Catbert: H.R. Director" Allan is in Catbert's office. He has a lapm strapped to his back. Allan says. "My boss treats me like furniture." Catbert says, "I'd help you, but it might set a dangerous precedent." Allan says, "I need a new position." Catbert says, "Have you tried crouching?"
Friday January 14,
2011
Tags #annoyance, #critics, #idea tried, #failed misarably, #skilled at implementing, #evaluating, #insulting
Transcript
Coworker says, "Your idea has already been tried by others and it failed miserably." Dilbert says, "Were those other as skilled at implementing ideas as you are at evaluating them?" Coworker says, "Of course they were!" Dilbert says, "Can you tell him to stop insulting himself?"
Thursday January 31,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #doctor, #treament, #unconventional, #demon, #gaath, #tried, #before
Transcript
Dilbert sits on an examining table. A man with a stethoscope says, "I'd like to try a treatment which may seem unconventional." The man waves his arms and shouts, "Oh hear me, Omdahr, Demon of Gaath, heal this man's arm!!" Dilbert asks, "Has that ever worked?" The man replies, "Beats me. I've never tried it before." A demon's hand reaches toward the man's head.
Thursday February 25,
1999
Tags #executives, #strategic planning, #sessions, #inadequate data, #knowledge attained, #reorganize, #tried, #magazine
Transcript
The boss meets with Wally and Dilbert. The boss says, "Our executives have started their annual strategic planning sessions." The boss says, "This involves sitting in a room with inadequate data until an illusion of knowledge is attained." The boss says, "Then we'll reorganize. because that's all we know how to do!" Wally says, "Have you tried it with a magazine?
Friday May 21,
1999
Tags #attached tracking device, #compromise, #spy satellite, #radio network, #next weekend, #date tried to run, #nod once
Transcript
Dilbert takes his coat off at home. Dilbert says, to dogbert, "My date tried to run away, but I attached a tracking device to her coat." Dilbert holds a microphone and site by his computer. Dilbert says, "Now I'll just compromise a spy satellite and a radio network." Dilbert's date lies in bed at her house. Her radio says, "....So id next weekend is good, nod once."
Monday March 07,
2005
Tags #help alice, #tried working harder, #become dependant
Transcript
Wally, I want you to go help Alice on her project." "Have you tried working harder? Sometimes thta works." "I hope she doesn't become dependent on my help."
Tuesday April 26,
2016
Your Idea Has Been Tried
Tags #failure, #trying, #trial and error, #criticism
Transcript
Boss: Ideas like yours have been tried in the past and always failed! Dilbert: Have you ever been on an airplane? Those didn't work on the first few tries either. And then we have the entire history of science. Boss: Stop. You're embarrassing yourself.
Friday May 11,
2018
Already Tried That Plan
Tags #disagreement, #argument, #opposites, #conflict
Transcript
Dilbert: We tried that plan already and it didn't work. Boss: Stop living in the past. Dilbert: Stop refusing to learn from experience. Boss: Wait... why do we both sound right? Dilbert; I don't know. It's freaking me out a little.
Sunday April 17,
2011
Tags #business ethics, #language, #best shore, #off shore, #some countries, #better than others, #racists
Transcript
Boss: And we plan to bestshore the production. Dilbert: What? Boss: We say bestshore now instead of offshore. Dilbert: Is that because we never tried to pick the best shore until now? Boss: Of course we tried to pick the best shore! Dilbert: But we never succeeded because we're incompetent? Boss: All I'm saying is that some countries are better than others! Wally: We're racists?
Friday March 18,
2011
Tags #laziness, #meetings, #telephones, #returned calls, #tragus, #phone, #research on excuses, #useless, #big difference
Transcript
Coworker says, "Why haven't you returned my calls?" Wally says, "I tried, but when I put the phone to my ear, it pressed my tragus over my ear hole and I couldn't hear a thing." Coworker says, "Do you do research on your excuses before meetings?" Wally says, "I'm not lazy, I'm useless. There's a big difference."