Trip Victory Lap Comic Strips
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Wally watches as Asok the Intern says to a male co-worker, "... And so you agree that the delays are your fault?" The co-worker says, "Yeh." The co-worker and Wally watch as, throwing his arms up in the air in jubilation, Asok exclaims, "I won the meeting!!" Asok's clothing and hair are askew and his eye is closed shut as he says, "Only a sore loser would trip someone on his victory lap." Wally says, "He is so-o-o immature."
Exit Interview Employee: Heh-heh. I am going to speak my mind and dump on everyone. Boss: Give me our I.D. and get out. If anyone wanted your opinion I would have paid you enough to stay. Employee: So much for my victory lap. Boss: You forgot your mug!
Boss: Ted can explain what you need to do before the platform upgrade. Dilbert: No he can't. Ted's brain is where knowledge goes to die. He's not good at explaining things. The knowledge might be in his brain, but it's trapped there. Unfortunately, Ted's incompetence is so unbelievable that you literally don't believe me. In time, you will assume that Ted taught me well but I forgot all of it. I'm doomed before I start. Let's just declare failure and move on. Boss: That works for me. Dilbert: Partial victory.
Boss: I need you to come with me on a sales trip, but don't talk to the customer. Your presence is needed to give a misleading impression of how much engineering support we plan to offer after the sale. Dilbert: So I'm nothing but a bag of meat? Boss: No. You're a lying bag of meat.
The caption says, "Dilbert celebrates his victory in court." Dilbert picks Dogbert up and yells, "Yes!!" Dogbert says, "Put me down." Dilbert spreads his arms and yells, "Ha ha! I'm free! No more six-by-six prison cell!" Dilbert sits in his cubicle at work thinking, "Aah . . . It feels so good to have my freedom and individuality back."
Dogbert walks on a sidewalk thinking, "I'm in such a bad mood. I've got to trip an ugly stranger. That will cheer me up." Dogbert trips a man and the man's glasses fly off his face as he falls. Dogbert walks away thinking, "That's a technique you won't find in any self-help book."
Dogbert sits at his desk reading the newspaper. Dogbert says, "What?? The presidents of other companies make way more money than I do!!" Dogbert continues, "I'd better make some short-sighted cuts. That should raise our stock price and make my stock options worth millions." The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally and Alice, ". . . All business trips are one-way from now on . . . And you're all required to take a trip this afternoon."
Dilbert is tied up and hanging upside down. A demonlike clerk says to him, "You spent nearly $10 per day on meals during your trip." The clerk continues, "The travel guidelines require you to stun a pigeon with your briefcase on the way to the hotel then fry it up on your travel iron." Dilbert responds, "I tried . . . but it was taking so long." The clerk suggests, "Try the 'wool' setting."
Dilbert sits at his desk thinking, "The worst he can do is fire me . . ." Dilbert says, "Boss, I need to talk to you." Dilbert continues, "I feel you don't respect me . . ." Dilbert continues, "It's an intangible thing . . ." The Boss thinks, "Sneeze coming . . ." Dilbert continues, "I see it in your body language . . ." The Boss grabs Dilbert's shirt. Dilbert continues, ". . . And sometimes the things you say . . ." The Boss rips Dilbert's shirt off his body. The Boss sneezes and uses Dilbert's shirt as a handkerchief. Dilbert sits at his desk without a shirt. He says, "This has been something less than a victory for workers everywhere."
Wally and Dilbert stand in front of the Boss's desk. Dilbert says, "Wally and I started our own company. We're selling the product that you said nobody wants." Wally adds, "Soon we will be rich." As they dance around the office, Dilbert says, "We do our victory jig in your face." Wally says, "Ba-bum" as the shakes back and forth. Wally and Dilbert are sobbing in the hallway. Alice asks, "When he showed you your employment agreement - where you gave all patent rights to this company - what part of the jig were you doing?" Dilbert replies, "Turbo mooning."