Search Results for "turnaround expert"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.
1 - 10 of 40

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 22, 1999's comic on:

Tags #new ceo, #turnaround expert, #pleasure to meet, #business process, #value based, #management method

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice, the boss, Wally, Asok and a new guy with big sharp teeth and horns on his head are in a meeting. The new guy looks like the devil. The boss directs evryone's attention to him and says, "This our new CEO. He has a reputation as a turnaround expert." Asok says, "It is a pleasure to meet you. Do you favor TQM or more of a business process approach?" The new guy replies, "I'm partial to the value-based management method." Asok says, "I'm not familiar with that one."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 24, 2011's comic on:

Tags #boredom, #despair, #subject matter expert, #judging book

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Everyone, this is Wally. He's our subject matter expert. Voices: Groan. Uh-oh. Sheesh. Oh well. Ugh. Wally: People are better than you'd think at judging a book by its cover.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 26, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #the boss, #management, #expert, #decide, #demanding

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "So, you're a time management expert huh? Might be useful . . . I'll let you know . . ." Dogbert screams, "Decide now! Do it! Do it, do it! Now now now now!" The Boss says, "You're good . . . When can you start?" Dogbert replies, "I'll get back to you."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 13, 1993's comic on:

Tags #babies, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #instruction, #book, #newborn, #expert, #cheese steak

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a desk chair. Dilbert asks, "What are you doing?" Dogbert replies, "I'm writing an instruction book for newborn babies." Dilbert says, "You don't know anything about babies." Dogbert replies, "Okay, I'm not an expert, but compared to the people who have babies . . ." A man holds a baby upside down. A woman holding a sandwich asks, "Which end do I put the cheese steak in?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 14, 1994's comic on:

Tags #bad schdeuling, #careless, #company cares, #last tuesday, #long hours, #missed out, #stress on workers, #stress redcution expert, #stressful, #talk at lunch, #too late

View Transcript

Transcript

"The company cares deeply about the effects of long hours and stress on workers." "So they're paying nearly $200 to have an expert on stress-reduction give a talk during lunch." "Just when you think they don't care, something like this comes along." "It's scheduled for lst Tuesday."

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 24, 1994's comic on:

Tags #confidential, #ethics offcie, #weasel boy, #ethics expert

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "The company hired an ethics expert to help us through the gray areas." "Your calls to the ethics office are completely confidential." Dogbert: "Thanks for sharing that. I own you now, Weasel-boy."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 04, 1996's comic on:

Tags #new corporate trainer, #teach classes, #stress reduction, #teamwork, #burn in hell, #filthy weasel, #hired you, #subject matter expert

View Transcript

Transcript

Someone behind a desk tells Ratbert, "I'm looking for a new corporate trainer to help me teach classes in stress reduction, conflict resolution, and teamwork." Ratbert yells, "I'll burn in hell before I'll do your work plus my own, you filthy weasel!!!" Dilbert asks, "And they hired you?" Ratbert replies, "A good trainer doesn't have to be a subject matter expert."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 23, 1999's comic on:

Tags #great turnaround ceo, #turn around, #head in hand

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok comes up to the new CEO sitting at his desk and who looks like the devil and says, "Everyone says you're a great turnaround CEO." Asok continues, "What does it take to turn around a company like this one?' Asok is walking off, holding his head under his arm and the head is thinking, "I guess it's better to not be noticed the first month."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 25, 1999's comic on:

Tags #the turnaround ceo, #work of 10 people, #strategic planning, #traitorous mole

View Transcript

Transcript

The Turnaround CEO Dilbert is standing in front of the CEO's desk saying, "If you let me keep my job, I'll do the work of ten people." The CEO looks like the devil. Dilbert goes on, "Specifically, it would be the ten people in our strategic planning group." Dilbert says, "They don't do much." The CEO replies, "I'd like you to be my traitorous mole."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 26, 1999's comic on:

Tags #the turnaround ceo, #mole, #fire, #affect revenue, #outsource everything, #one smart employee, #risk, #rude

View Transcript

Transcript

The Turnaround CEO The devilish looking CEO asks Dilbert, "Tell me, mole, who can I fire without affecting revenue?" Dilbert replies, "In theory, you could outsource everything and run the company with one smart employee." Dilbert continues, "And at the risk of sounding rude, only one of us knew that."