The Boss: we found awn offensive tweet you sent seven years ago.
Dilbert: Its only offensive if you have poor reading comprehension and no sense of humor.
The boss: I find it offensive.
Dilbert: I think we're on the same page here/
Carol: I finally signed up for Twitter. Sending my first tweet. Uh-oh. What the??? It seems I have opened some sort of portal to Hell. Demons are streaming through the portal!!! I have never seen such horrible thoughts! Gaaaa!!! Dilbert: How was your first day on Twitter? Carol: I'm already addicted to it.
Jerry: Omg! You are soooo wrong! I literally cannot believe you are this gullible. Hahahahaha! Hahahaha! I can't wait to tweet about your stupidity. Your dumbness will live forever on the internet!
Dilbert: You probably haven't seen the new data that proves I'm right. Will you apologize like a decent human being or will you move the goalposts claim victory. And trash my name like a demented weasel?
Jerry: Can you tell me more about the weasel option?
Dogbert says, "I cooked the books by assuming your pension fund will earn 15% per year." Pension Fund 15% Dogbert says, "Technically you aren't crooks, just optimists." Tweet! Mmph! Tweet! Dogbert says, "If you hear a whistling noise, that would be your soul escaping through your nose."
The Boss says, "Our highest priority is satisfying our customers? except when it is hard? or unprofitable? or we're busy." CLICK CLICK CLICK The Boss says, "Are you tweeting my quotes?" Asok says, "Book deal! Cha-ching!!!"
Asok says, "Good news: I got a book deal based entirely on the dumb things you've said." Asok says, "It's totally legal because the law only protects 'intellectual' property." The Boss says, "Frugga bugga!!!" Asok says, "And so began the sequel."
Boss: Do you have a minute to answer a quick question about social media? Dilbert: I don't have time... Boss: Real quick. One question. Dilbert: Okay, but make it fast, please. I'm late for my meeting. Boss: Okay, the question is this... Can I Instagram a tweet right to Facebook... or does liking something I also favorited automatically pin it to my followers? Dilbert: I'm going to say yes and go to my meeting. Boss: I probably should have asked some follow-ups.
You retweeted a racist conspiracy theory.
I did?
I checked snopes.com, and they say it is not true that Elbonians evolved from pandas less than a hundred years ago.
You might want to delete the tweet.
nah. What's the worst that can happen?
Our customers organized a boycott because of your racist tweet.
I know. That's why I tweeted out some witty insults at the organizers.
Your new tweets are sexist.
Notice how the make you forget about my racist tweets?
