Twice As Prodcutive Comic Strips
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59 Results for Twice As Prodcutive
View 1 - 10 results for twice as prodcutive comic strips. Discover the best "Twice As Prodcutive" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday August 14,
2011
Tags #business ethics, #research facilities, #work home, #2 days, #twice as prodcutive, #elaborate science experiment, #commute to sit in box, #control group, #frustration
Transcript
Dilbert: Can I work at home for two days per week? I can be twice as productive, and happier at the same time. Boss: I probably shouldn't tell you this... but you're part of an elaborate science experiment to see how much frustrations it takes to kill employees. Why else would the company make you commute for two hours a day just to sit in a tiny box? Don't feel bad: no one told me either. I had to piece it together from the evidence. Now I do my part to keep the experiment moving along. Dilbert: Other people work from home. Boss: Are you referring to the control group?
Saturday September 14,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #dance, #paycheck, #mine, #twice, #big, #money, #buy, #happiness
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss dangles a check from his fingers and says, "It's pay day." The Boss yells, "Ha ha!! Dance for your paycheck!! Ha ha ha!! Mine is twice as big!!" The Boss walks away thinking, "And they say money can't buy happiness."
Tuesday September 06,
1994
Tags #phone poll, #Dogbert, #voting twice, #each call costs, #money making, #opinions
Transcript
"People are so stupid they should pay me to listen to their opinions." "If you disagree, you can call my phone poll at 555-Dog-BERT. Each call costs two dollars." "I'm voting twice."
Saturday February 18,
1995
Tags #bad news, #no raises, #making worse, #own reward, #rewarded, #twice as much
Transcript
The caption reads, "Bad news." The Boss sits at his desk saying, "We're not giving any raises." The captions reads, "Making it worse." The Boss says, "But we think work is its own reward." The caption reads, "Making it MUCH worse." The Boss says, "Expect to get rewarded about twice as much next year."
Tuesday March 07,
1995
Tags #finish program, #fast, #train him, #prodcutive, #big glowing thing
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk and turns around as the Boss enters. The Boss says, "We need to finish your program twice as fast, so I'm adding a person to help you." The Boss says as he leaves Dilbert's cubicle, "You might need to train him a little before he's productive." Dilbert waves his arms as he thinks, "Warning! Warning! Dr. Smith." Dilbert sits at his desk with the new co-worker, a small man with big ears and a disheveled shirt collar. Pointing at the monitor, he asks Dilbert, "Tell me again what the big glowing thing is."
Wednesday March 08,
1995
Tags #twice as afst, #doubling staff, #coded modules, #mouse not a mic, #boss understands now, #pa system
Transcript
The Boss peers into Dilbert's cubicle and asks, "Are you working twice as fast since I doubled your staff?" Dilbert sits at his desk with Barry. He answers, "I've coded twelve modules . . . Barry is on a journey of discovery where he will find out my mouse is not a microphone." Speaking into the mouse, Barry says, "Hello! Anybody!" Back in his office, the Boss sits in front of the computer contemplating his mouse. He says, "That would explain why nobody ever comments on my announcements over the P.A. system."
Thursday August 22,
1996
Tags #lowly intern, #obvious solution, #clear buffers, #initialize link, #code patch, #memory leak, #salary, #twice as much, #money
Transcript
Asok stands behind Wally's desk and says, "I am only a lowly intern, but I see an obvious solution to your problem." Asok says, "Just click here . . . Clear your buffers and initialize the link . . . Now use this code patch for the memory leak." Asok says, "This is funny if you consider that your salary is twice as much as mine." Wally replies, "I'm laughing on the inside."
Wednesday March 26,
1997
Tags #plan too much, #bias for action, #posters, #proclaim commitment, #measure once, #cut twice
Transcript
The Boss sits at his desk and says, "We plan too much. From now on we'll have a bias for action." The Boss tells Asok and Wally, "I want posters that proclaim our commitment to action. And I want them soon!" The Boss reads a poster, "'Measure once. Cut twice.' I like it." Wally tells Asok, "Told you."
Tuesday December 01,
1998
Tags #boss in hospital, #no brain function, #still talking, #double length meetings, #accomplish twice as much
Transcript
The boss lies in a hospital bed. The boss is hooked up to complicated looking machine. A docter stands next to the machine. The doctor says, "The accident left him with no brain function whatsoever." The doctor says, "But that hasn't stopped him from talking." Dilbert says, "I'll drive him back to work." Dilbert drives the Boss. The Boss says, "If I double the length of our staff meetings, we'll accomplish twice as much!"
Friday August 11,
2000
Tags #hire another engineer, #last minute, #cost saving s awards, #plan to hire, #work twice as hard
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, "I had planned to hire another engineer." The Boss continues, "At the last minute I rememered I could just make you work twice as hard." The Boss says to Dilbert, "Maybe you could nominate me for one of those cost saving awards."