Two Flat Screens Comic Strips
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603 Results for Two Flat Screens
View 1 - 10 results for two flat screens comic strips. Discover the best "Two Flat Screens" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday October 16,
2007
Tags #20% raise, #two flat screens, #monitors, #evil genius, #second monitor
Transcript
Dilbert: "My pay is below market. Can I have a 20% raise?" The Boss: "No, but I'll let you use two flat screen monitors in your cubicle so it feels like you're an evil genius in a secret lair." "Bu-Wa-HAHA!" Wally: "Who got a second monitor?"
Thursday April 17,
2008
Tags #cubicle, #envious, #two monitors, #one monitor, #twice the work
Transcript
Alice: You let Dilbert have two flat screen monitors in his cubicle. Alice: I'm not the least bit envious, but I should point out that a worker with two monitors should be able to do twice as much work. Alice: Did you know there are some advantages to having only one monitor?
Tuesday July 05,
2011
Tags #annoyance, #apathy, #choosing, #comments, #two alternatives, #recommended option, #more expensive
Transcript
Dilbert: Did you read my comments on the two alternatives? Boss: No. Dilbert: I recommended option two because neither plan will work but option one is way more expensive. Boss: I already approved option one. Dilbert: If you need any more help, just let me know.
Sunday September 04,
2011
Tags #administrative agencies, #control, #data, #delay, #frustration, #manipulate, #meetings, #time, #two weeks
Transcript
Woman: Wally, I need your data for my meeting in three days. Wally: Okay. It shouldn't take more than three or four days to pull it together. Woman: Not three or four days. I need it in three days. Wally: Okay. Three days. Not counting the weekend and the day I give it to you. Woman: That would be six days! Wally: Six or seven days. Tops. Woman: I need it in three days, not a week. Wally: That's no problem. A week or two at the most. Woman: Okay! You win! I'll reschedule my meeting for two weeks out! And you'll have the data in two weeks? Wally: Yes. Two weeks or so.
Thursday November 03,
2011
Tags #depression (mental state), #despair, #ugly partment, #two ugly roomates, #ugly bus, #ugly building, #ugly cubicle, #eat lunch
Transcript
Asok: I live in an ugly apartment with two ugly roommates. Each workday I take an ugly bus to an ugly building and spend the entire day in my ugly cubicle. Dilbert: At least you get to eat lunch with us. Asok: I've said too much.
Sunday November 27,
2011
Tags #frustration, #gadgets, #smartphone interface rage, #perfect storm, #bad interface design, #chubby fingers, #poor signal strenth, #smashing phone, #frustrated, #can't survive, #lesser of two eveils
Transcript
Dilbert: Whoa! Watch out. I've read about this. It's called smartphone interface rage. It's caused by the perfect storm of bad interface design, chubby fingers, and poor signal strength. He'll get so frustrated that he'll consider smashing his phone. Then he'll realize he can't survive without his phone and he'll be twice as frustrated. We have to do something. Wally: Run as fast as you can into the wall! It will take your mind off of your phone! Sometimes the best you can hope for is that the lesser of two evils is the funny one.
Tuesday May 22,
2012
Tags #business failures/bankruptcies, #too big to fail, #two pigs, #flail, #clever, #demoralizing
Transcript
Boss: Are we too big to fail? CEO: Nope. We're more like two pigs that flail. Boss: That's clever, and yet demoralizing. CEO: You're welcome.
Wednesday June 06,
2012
Tags #editors, #writing, #pointless, #confusing, #technical writer, #highly trained, #trick question, #paragraph two
Transcript
Dilbert: Your second paragraph is pointless and confusing. Let's just delete it. Tina: I'm a highly trained technical writer. What makes you think you can do my job better? Dilbert: That might be a trick questions, but I'm pretty sure the answer is paragraph two.
Monday October 09,
1989
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #flat earth, #society, #witness, #christopher columbus, #death, #conspiracy
Transcript
Dogbert sits at a desk looking at a flattened globe. Dilbert asks, "You joined the 'Flat Earth Society?'" Dogbert replies, "I believe the earth MUST be flat. There is no good evidence to support the so-called 'round earth theory.'" Dilbert says, "I think Christopher Columbus would disagree." Dogbert says, "How convenient that your best witness is long dead."
Tuesday January 01,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #two-bean, #salad, #smothered, #island, #dressing, #bench
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit on a bench. Dilbert says, "I was so poor that all I could afford to eat was two-bean salad." Dogbert replies, "Sounds awful . . ." Dilbert says, "It wasn't that bad . . ." Dilbert continues, ". . . Of course, I always smothered it with hundred island dressing."