Ultra Stretchy Comic Strips
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5 Results for Ultra Stretchy
View 1 - 5 results for ultra stretchy comic strips. Discover the best "Ultra Stretchy" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday April 10,
2005
Tags #regular goals, #stretch goals, #sacrifice health, #personal life, #criminal conduct, #bonus, #salaries below budget, #ultra stretchy, #employee rights, #taken advantage, #cheat employee
Transcript
"Here are your regular goals and here are your stretch goals." "What's the difference?" "The regular goals can be achieved by sacrificing health and your personal life." "The stretch goals require all of that plus some sort of criminal conduct." "I'm guessing that your boss gave uou the regular goals and you came up with the stretch goals on your own." "That way, When I achieve the regular goals you'll get a raise because I missed the stretch goals." "Then you'll get a bouns for salaries below budget." "Maybe we should talk about the ultra-stretch goals later."
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Tuesday November 06,
2001
Tags #yoga class, #harmony and blance, #stare at stretchy women
Transcript
Dilbert is sitting at his computer. Wally approaches from behind and says, "I signed up for a yoga class." Wally continues, "They say it will help me achieve harmony and balance." Wally continues, "Failing at that, I plan to stare at stretchy women."
Friday October 31,
2003
Tags #rick, #mustaully exclusive, #transofrm, #package ultra light, #absorb impact, #brick wall
Transcript
Dilbert: "Hey, Rick. Allow me to explain why your specifications are mutually exclusive." Rick: "Must transform." Dilbert: "If we make the package ultra light, there won't be enough material to absorb impact when..." "I don't think I'm getting through."
Monday November 08,
2004
Tags #consultation, #enbrace idea, #frees your mid, #profitable products, #ultra donut, #40 thousand calories, #sharp objects
Transcript
Dogbert consults Dogbert: Once you embrace the idea that your customers deserve to die... ...it frees your mind to invent splendidly profitable products. Its called the ultra - donut: forty thousand calories and filled with sharp objects.
Friday November 12,
2004
Tags #hazardous donuts, #free will, #illuison, #perceived path, #greatest pleasure, #rationalize, #deciosn, #mindless robot
Transcript
"You can't resist the shard-filled ultra-doughnuts even though you know the hazards." "Mmph" "Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure." "Now, rationalize your decision, you mindless pink robot!" "I'm only having one."