Understand Metaphors Comic Strips
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252 Results for Understand Metaphors
View 1 - 10 results for understand metaphors comic strips. Discover the best "Understand Metaphors" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday April 13,
2006
Tags #contract emplyee, #dangling carrot, #regular emplyee, #understand metaphors
Transcript
I'll bring you on as a contract employee. "Then I'll keep you motivated by dangling the carrot of becoming a regular employee." "Your first mistake was assuming that he understands metaphors."
Friday August 07,
2020
Boss Doesn't Understand
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #server, #migration, #difficult, #understand, #question, #face maks
Transcript
boss: can you finish the server migration by monday? dilbert: no way. boss: how hard can it be? dilbert: you only say that about things you don't understand. boss: i ask that question every day. dilberty: yup.
Thursday May 17,
2012
Tags #presentation, #confusing, #unpersuasive, #inability, #miscommunication, #inability to understand
Transcript
CEO: Someone told me your presentation was confusing and unpersuasive. Dilbert: Sometimes one person's inability to understand looks like another person's inability to explain. CEO: I don't understand what you just said. Dilbert: See?
Wednesday January 02,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #book, #moby dick, #metaphors, #imagery, #whale, #smell, #armchair
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table. Dilbert asks, "Well? What do you think of my book so far?" Dogbert looks at the manuscript and says, "It reminds me of 'Moby Dick.'" Dilbert asks, "Because of my creative metaphors and strong imagery?" Dogbert responds, "No, it just seems to me that a big whale wouldn't smell too good, either."
Wednesday October 02,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #destiny, #conquer, #elbonia, #using, #hover-saucer, #invention, #intoxicated, #metaphors, #influence, #shouldn't
Transcript
Dogbert stands in front of a flying saucer and thinks, "It is my destiny to conquer Elbonia using Dilbert's hover-saucer invention." Dogbert climbs into the saucer thinking, "I feel intoxicated with power and blinded by my own ambition." Dogbert sits in the driver's seat thinking, "Maybe I shouldn't drive while under the influence of metaphors."
Saturday May 30,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #consultant, #advised, #handle, #sneaking, #stamping, #cancelled, #understand, #goodyear, #blimp
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally and Alice, "My consultant advised me to handle the layoffs in a direct, professional way." The Boss holds up a rubber stamp and continues, "So, throughout the day I'll be sneaking up on people and stamping 'Canceled' on their backs." As Wally runs away, Alice says, "Let me see if I understand . . ." The Boss points and says, "Hey! Is that the Goodyear blimp?"
Tuesday August 04,
1992
Tags #office workers, #Dilbert, #Wally, #the boss, #understand, #sleep, #sleep deprivation, #Food, #starve, #artificial, #deadline, #ergle, #flumg, #muddle brained, #incomprehensible, #division, #manager
Transcript
The Boss says to Tim, "I understand you've been going without sleep or food for days just to meet some artificial deadline." Tim mumbles incoherently. The Boss continues, "As a result, your work has been muddle-brained and incomprehensible. You leave me no choice, Tim." Wally says to Dilbert, "Tim got promoted to division manager." Dilbert replies, "I wonder if he knows it."
Tuesday March 08,
1994
Tags #budget analyst, #budget cuts, #intelligent choices, #understand enginering, #strategy
Transcript
The Boss: Susan, I want you to make some budget cuts throughout my department. Susan: But Im only the budget analyst. I couldn't understand all the engineering projects enough to make intelligent choices. The Boss: Really? Great! I thought it was just me! Susan: Shall I whomp up a strategy while Im at it?
Monday October 17,
1994
Tags #client server, #project, #reasoning, #six minutes, #time line, #world wide operations, #understand
Transcript
The Boss: I put together a time line for your project. I started by reasoning that anything I don't understand is easy to do. Phase one: design a client-server architecture for our world wide operations time: six minutes.
Tuesday May 02,
1995
Tags #dogberts talk radio, #smartest creature, #dolts, #taking calls, #understand complex, #crossfire
Transcript
Dogbert sits in a radio DJ booth wearing earphones and speaking into a microphone. He says, "I'm the smartest creature in the universe and you are all dolts." Dogbert continues, "Today I'm taking calls from people who think they understand complex issues because they watch 'Crossfire' on CNN." A caller says, ". . . So why not put all poor people in orphanages?" With his paw on the control panel, Dogbert says, "Put your head up to the speaker, Bob."