Unique Preferences Comic Strips
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19 Results for Unique Preferences
View 1 - 10 results for unique preferences comic strips. Discover the best "Unique Preferences" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday July 04,
1998
Tags #socially defective, #unique preferences, #arguments, #dating, #girl, #dilbert defending himself, #relationships
Transcript
Dilbert and woman walking wearing coats. Woman says, "I don't understand why you like the things you like." Woman continues, "I'm forced to conclude that you're socially defective." Woman and Dilbert walking over cobblestone bridge. Dilbert says, "Isn't it normal for people to have unique preferences?" Woman responds, "Do you have to argue with EVERYTHING I say?!"
Wednesday March 18,
2020
Diet Preferences
Tags #conference room, #office workers, #chitchat, #bore, #diet, #preferences
Transcript
dilbert thinking as walking into conference room: oh, no. i'm here too early. there will be chitchat. dilbert sitting empty conference room: someone is going to bore me to death talking about their diet preferences. ted: i only eat figs. dilbert thinking: kill me. kill me. kill me.
Monday May 01,
1995
Tags #pursue goal, #world domination, #talk radio host, #unique conservative view, #deserve mockery, #flawed view, #intelligent questions
Transcript
Dogbert says to Dilbert who is sitting at his desk, "I think the best way to pursue my goal of world domination is to become a talk radio host." Dogbert continues, "I'll promote my unique conservative viewpoint that people are idiots who deserve to be mocked." Dilbert asks, "Won't people show your viewpoint to be flawed by virtue of their intelligent questions?" Dogbert asks, "Like that one?"
Saturday May 03,
1997
Tags #designing a brochure, #emphasize things, #product unique, #higher prices, #stale technology, #fewer feature
Transcript
The caption says, "Designing a brochure." Dilbert sits at a conference table with a man from marketing. Dilbert says, "We'll want to emphasize the things that make our product unique." The man says, "Good good." Dilbert says, "Let's see . . . We have higher prices . . . Stale technology . . . Fewer features . . . And it's hard to use." Dilbert asks, "Can you work with that?" The man replies, "Suddenly I don't feel so bad that we won't be using 100 percent recycled paper."
Sunday November 17,
1996
Tags #cubville, #powerful leader, #solution unique, #brilliance, #contribution, #much better idea
Transcript
The Boss enters a row of cubicles and thinks, "The powerful leader enters Cubeville to inspire the wretched underlings." The Boss peers into Dilbert's cubicle and thinks, "He spots one of the little people in desperate need of a morale boost." The Boss thinks, "The leader carefully assesses the situation. Every solution is unique." The Boss says, "Try identifying the problem and then solving it." The Boss thinks, "The leader waits while the brilliance of his contribution sinks in." Dilbert says, "That's a much better idea than what I was doing." Dilbert continues sarcastically, "I've been sitting here all day randomly pressing keys, but you've shown me a better way!" The Boss thinks, "Suddenly the leader remembers why he rarely visits Cubeville." Dilbert says, "My morale is soaring."
Thursday June 07,
2001
Tags #contract states, #nick names, #mottos, #political preferences, #new contract, #fact, #skippy, #communist now
Transcript
Dogbert and Dilbert sit at a table, each reviewing a piece of paper. Dogbert says, "Our contract clearly states that I can give you nicknames, mottos and political preferences." Dilbert sits with his arms folded over his chest and says, "I demand a new contract based on the fact that I didn't read this one before I signed it." Dogbert replies, "Too bad, Skippy. You're a communist now."
Thursday November 06,
2014
Tags #buy things, #deception, #evil, #evil tool, #images, #lab notes, #marketing, #obliviousness, #presentation, #screen, #unique sequence, #business
Transcript
Dilbert: I discovered a unique sequence of sights and sounds that makes people buy things they don't need. I recommend that we destroy all of my lab notes and rid the world of this evil tool. CEO: You never told him what marketing is? Boss: He didn't need to know.
Tuesday August 02,
2011
Tags #meetings, #standards meeting., #represent interests, #create standards, #mutually exclusive prefrences, #laughs
Transcript
Standards Meeting. Dogbert: Each of you has been chosen to represent the interests of your respective companies. As you know, the best way to create standards is to mash together a bunch of mutually exclusive preferences. I hope I'm not the only one who joined this group just for the laughs.
Saturday August 30,
2003
Tags #key board, #not unique, #carol adjusts, #making no sense
Transcript
The Boss: My keyboard looks exactly like everyone else's. The Boss: I need more of a management key board with special keys and that sort of thing. Carol: And the "{" becomes the newly discovered letter.
Thursday October 30,
2003
Tags #emailed, #breakdown, #format, #unspoken, #shining prefernces, #mpiness, #abyss
Transcript
The Boss: "I e-mailed you the expense breakdown. I need you to fix the format and send it out." Carol: "I will now read your mind to get the unspoken, ever-shifting preferences for the format." "I see nothing emptiness... the abyss..." The boss: "Add a chart."