United Nations Comic Strips
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27 Results for United Nations
View 1 - 10 results for united nations comic strips. Discover the best "United Nations" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday December 03,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #laugh, #science, #surprise, #united, #nations, #vote, #space, #alien, #ruler of earth, #supreme, #freckles, #press conference
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair watching television. A newscaster says, "In a surprise decision, the United Nations voted to make Dogbert - the Space Alien - the Supreme Ruler of Earth." The newscaster continues, "More on that later. But first, science offers new hope for people with freckles . . ." The caption says, "Dogbert holds his first press conference." Dogbert stands at a podium shouting, "Hu-ha-ha! Hu-ha-ha!" A reporter thinks, "Not a good sign."
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Friday May 08,
1998
Tags #united nations, #billion dollars, #donated, #france, #Dogbert
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sitting on a couch. Dilbert is eating chips. Dogbert says, "I donated a billion dollars to the United Nations today." Dilbert replies, "That's nice of you." Dogbert says, "My only condition is that they name something after me." At the United Nations, three UN representatives sit at a table. The French diplomat exclaims, "For the millionth time: Yes, I'm sure we want to keep calling it France!"
Friday February 22,
2013
Tags #astroid intercept missle, #fate of earth, #scientific equipment, #united nations, #science
Transcript
Boss: Good news! We were the low bidder for The United Nation's asteroid intercept missile. The fate of Earth depends on your combined talents plus my management skills. Wally, you're in charge of fissile material, which I assume is a type of soda.
Wednesday December 02,
1992
Tags #alien, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #space, #television, #leaders, #world, #world domination, #parking space, #elevator, #reckless, #prank, #translator
Transcript
A television news reporter says into her microphone, "The leaders of the world met today to consider the demands of Dogbert the Space Alien." At the United Nations, a world leader says, "All in favor of letting the alien run the world raise your hand." The caption says, "Meanwhile in the translators' booth, a reckless prank is being played." Three translators with headsets sit at a table. One translator says, "He says, 'Who wants my parking space by the elevator?'"
Thursday March 01,
2012
Tags #television news, #rogue nations, #nuclear weapons, #polar ice caps, #melting, #unemployment, #brink of default, #retirement, #news
Transcript
Wally: Rogue nations are building nuclear weapons. The polar ice caps are melting. Unemployment is high. Entire nations are on the brink of default. You aren't saving enough for retirement. Dilbert: What do you have going here? Wally: He said he doesn't pay attention to news. I wondered why.
Monday February 24,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #president, #united states, #charisma, #unify, #divided, #Political, #party, #democrat, #communist
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I've decided to run for President of the United States." Dogbert continues, "I'm hoping my charisma will unify a divided political party." Dilbert asks, "You're running as a Democrat?" Dogbert replies, "No, Communist. I want to have a chance."
Wednesday February 26,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #nation's, #founding fathers, #motives, #running, #president, #slave owners, #democratic, #ignorance
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dilbert says, "I think the nation's founding fathers would be ashamed of your motives for running for President." Dogbert asks, "Weren't they slave owners?" Dilbert replies, "Well . . . Sure, but at least it was democratic." Dogbert says, "Back then, the only people allowed to vote were white male land owners." Dogbert continues as Dilbert walks away, "In fact, the presidency was created so the ignorant masses would think there was a king." Dilbert covers his ears and says, "La la la la la la la la."
Tuesday January 03,
1995
Tags #united charity, #least valuable member, #honesty, #best plocy
Transcript
The Boss stands with his arm on Wally's shoulder. The Boss says, "Congratulations, Wally. I've selected you to head up our campaign for 'United Charity.'" The Boss says, "I chose you not only because you're the least valuable member of our group, but also because you're so darn pitiful." Wally looks distraught and clutches his tie. The Boss walks away thinking, "Honesty is the best policy unless it's being done to you."
Wednesday January 04,
1995
Tags #united charity, #below average, #pay level, #income, #local agroups, #approved list, #team player, #fund agency, #away from scoiety
Transcript
Wally stands in front of Dilbert who is seated at his desk. Wally is reading a piece of paper and says to Dilbert, "Your contributions to 'United Charity' are below average for your pay level." Dilbert says, "Actually, I donate ten percent of my income and thousands of hours to local groups not on your approved list." Wally writes on the sheet, ". . . Not a team player." Dilbert says, "I fund an agency that keeps people like you away from society."
Thursday January 05,
1995
Tags #united charity, #kick off, #headless man, #inspirational speaker, #dignity, #quations, #head count report
Transcript
Wally hands a piece of paper to Dilbert and says, "Be at the 'United Charity' kickoff tomorrow." While Dilbert reads the paper Wally says, "I hired a headless man to be our inspirational speaker." Wally, Sally and the Boss are seated and a headless man stands in front of them with a microphone, making a speech. The headless man says, ". . . and that's how 'United Charity' game me back my dignity. Any questions?" The Boss raises his hand and asks, "How do you show up on a headcount report?"