Unlock Lexus Comic Strips
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4 Results for Unlock Lexus
View 1 - 4 results for unlock lexus comic strips. Discover the best "Unlock Lexus" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday July 28,
2000
Tags #upgarding, #sales support, #unlock lexus, #guy down hall, #owns lexus
Transcript
Dilbert says to Ed, "I finished upgrading the sales support network." Ed responds angrily, "Is that why I can't unlock my Lexus?!!" Dilbert replies, "You don't own a Lexus. You only look like a guy down the hall who owns one." Ed answers, "I hate that guy."
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday March 01,
2001
Tags #unlock skull, #management training, #twist ears, #moral compass, #deactivate, #leadership, #working weekends, #adjustng, #Dogbert
Transcript
MANAGEMENT TRAINING: Dogbert stands on a stool behind a man sitting in a chair. Dogbert says, "You twist the ears to unlock the skull." The man's skull is open as if a hinge were on the side of his head. Dogbert reaches inside the skull and says, "Find the moral compass and deactivate it." Dogbert replaces the man's skull and says, "The result is something called leadership." The man points in front of him and says, "You're working weekends!"
Saturday January 30,
2010
Tags #ceo, #incompetent, #dogbert investment bank, #shareholder, #bribe, #merger, #unwise, #commission, #best seller, #read, #jail
Transcript
Dogbert says, "You're an incompetent CEO, but the Dogbert Investment Bank can help you pretend to unlock shareholder value." Dogbert says, "I'll arrange an unwise merger so you can cash out while I collect an obscene commission." Dogbert says, "It's like a bribe, but instead of going to jail, a stranger will write a bestselling book with your name on it." CEO says, "Can I read it?"
Monday April 18,
2016
Government Wants Access To Data
Tags #national security, #privacy, #technology, #big business, #terrorism
Transcript
CEO: The government wants us to make software that can unlock the encrypted data of our users. Either we choose privacy or national security. Should we betray our customers or should we enable terrorists? Figure out which one is more profitable and get back to me. Boss: On it.