Unqualified Crony Comic Strips

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16 Results for Unqualified Crony

View 1 - 10 results for unqualified crony comic strips. Discover the best "Unqualified Crony" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 11, 2007's comic on:


Tags #unqualified crony, #quality control group, #value loyalty, #great leader, #extra disloyal

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The Boss: I hired an unqualified crony to run our quality control group. "I value loyalty over competence. That's the sign of a great leader." Dilbert: "Do you see any problem with that?" The Boss: "It makes you look extra disloyal?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 12, 2007's comic on:


Tags #unqualified crony, #rebellion, #staff, #blow out of proportion, #monitor situation

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Dilbert: Your unqualified crony is causing a rebellion among the staff. The Boss: "There's not need to blow this all out of proportion." "But I promise to monitor the situation."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 23, 1996's comic on:


Tags #co worker, #current job, #engineer, #higher salary, #throughly unqualified, #unrealistic plans, #wally resign, #engineering

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Dilbert and Wally stand in the office kitchen. As he pours himself a cup of coffee, Wally says, "So I'm thinking I'll resign, then I'll reapply for my current job at a higher salary." As they walk back to their cubicles, Dilbert says, "That's a good plan except for the fact that you're thoroughly unqualified for your current job." Wally says, "I need to share my unrealistic plans with a friend who isn't an engineer." Dilbert says, "I'm more of a co-worker than a friend, per se."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 29, 2008's comic on:


Tags #evil director, #human resources, #evaluate job applicants, #unqualified loser, #nailing it, #business

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Catbert: Evil director of human resources Catbert: "I like to use role play to evaluate job applicants." Pretend you're an unqualified loser. Wow. You're totally nailing it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 24, 2010's comic on:


Tags #leg, #rope, #attached, #crony, #ceo, #job, #new boss, #qualified, #monkey, #hammer, #hold, #suspicious, #business, #animals

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CEO says, "This rope is attached to a crony from my last CEO job." CEO says, "Give it a good yank and reel him in. He's your new boss." The Boss says, "Is he qualified for the job?" CEO says, "Like a monkey with a hammer!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 15, 2007's comic on:


Tags #unqualified, #position, #job, #higher salray, #negotiate riase, #irrational dipwad, #easily manipulated, #bogus compariosns, #illusion of scaricity, #can't have you, #desparate to hire, #rationalizations, #total lack of qaulifications, #write the offer, #business

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"No offense, but you're totally unqualified for this position." Wally: "That's okay. I already have a job." "I just need a job offer at a higher salary so I can use it to negotiate for a raise." Wally: "My boss is an irrational dipwad who is easily manipulated by bogus comparisons and the illusion of scarcity." Wally: "Your offer will make him think my value is much higher than it actually is." "Great. Now that I know I can't have you, I desperately want to hire you." "My mind is already forming rationalizations for your total lack of qualifications!" "How do you turn this off?!!" Wally: "I'll tell you after you write the offer."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 24, 2007's comic on:


Tags #presentation, #useful parts, #open to suggestions, #unqualified, #their own jobs, #software, #recycled paper, #engineering

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Dilbert: "This concludes the useful part of my presentation." "Now let's open the floor to suggestions from people who are unqualified to do their own jobs, much less mine." "Yes, you with the forehead." Man: "Can you make the software out of recycled paper?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 15, 1994's comic on:


Tags #new management layer, #middle mangemnet, #new boss, #harfurd, #idiot, #unqualified, #fool

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The Boss: Im creating a new layer of management so I dont have to talk to you anymore. Richard is your new boss. He has an MBA from Harfund University. Dilbert: You mean Harvard don't you? The Boss: Uh oh

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 1996's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #get extra engineer, #project, #transfer, #loser, #comapny, #misplaced optimism

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Catbert sits at his desk and says, "There are two ways to get an extra engineer for your project." Catbert continues, "You can transfer some unqualified loser from within the company . . ." Dilbert asks, "Or?" Catbert says, "Not so fast. I like to savor the moment before I crush your misplaced optimism."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 2002's comic on:


Tags #demoting to engineer, #job to crony, #real work, #pretend, #working, #one wally

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The new Senior Vice President says to The Boss, "I'm demoting you to engineer so I can give your current job to one of my cronies." The Boss exclaims, "I won't survive. I don't know how to do real work!" The Boss says to Wally, "Wally, can you teach me how to pretend to be working?" Wally replies, "Whoa! There can only be one Wally."