Untrained Comic Strips
Search Filters
Year
- 2022
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
6 Results for Untrained
View 1 - 6 results for untrained comic strips. Discover the best "Untrained" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday September 27,
1995
Tags #results, #audit, #untrained, #highly skilled, #liars, #passed audit, #success
Transcript
Dogbert hands a document to the Boss and says, "Here are the results of my ISO 9000 audit of your company." Dogbert continues, "Your employees are largely untrained and - I couldn't help notice - fairly unattractive." Dogbert continues, "However, they are also highly skilled liars, so you passed the audit easily." The Boss raises his arm in the air and shouts, "We succeed where it counts!!!"
Friday May 12,
2000
Tags #untrained eye, #no work, #raging sea, #knowledge managemnet, #strategic thinking, #gurgling sound
Transcript
Wally says to the Boss, "To the untrained eye it might look as if I do no work." Wally continues as he points to his head, "But inside here is a raging sea of knowledge management and strategic thinking." Wally then asks the Boss, "Did you hear that gurgling sound?"
Wednesday July 21,
2004
Tags #hired feral employee, #inexpensive, #untrained, #eat food, #run away
Transcript
I hired a feral employee. "He's inexpensive because he's totally untrained." "Chomp" "Ouch!" "So far he knows how to eat food and run away."
Sunday July 10,
1994
Tags #share accomplishements, #meeting, #share, #tiger team, #lock up session, #meeting cancelled, #nothing tangible, #busy work, #business
Transcript
The Boss: Let's each share our accomplishments for the month. Dilbert: To the untrained observer it might seem like I didn't accomplish anything. However, I did strategically "position" my project by socializing it within the company. Dilbert: Then Wally and I help a "tiger team" lock up session. Then I prepared the executive briefing package for the big meeting that got cancelled. Since then Ive spent most if my time looking for the best project management software to use. And I did it all within ten percent of my budget goal, Dilbert: Looking good. Wally: wow all I did was that tiger thing.
Thursday January 01,
2004
Tags #office relocation, #procedures, #wrong cubicle, #easily stealable, #move computer, #rules and regulations, #company rules
Transcript
Office relocation. Esok: you are not allowed to move you own computer. It must be left in an easily sealable condition for three days until the movers take it to the wrong cubicle. Then untrained I.T Professionals will shove an ethernet cable and stapler and call it good. Dilbert: get out of my way
Sunday June 28,
2015
Tags #meditate, #meditation, #mindful, #mindfulness, #mbct, #stress, #trick, #laziness, #deception, #work ethic, #ruse, #nap, #napping
Transcript
Wally: Do you mind if I take Steve Jobs' advice and practice meditation and mindfulness? Science says meditation can reduce stress and make me more productive. And obviously it worked for Steve Jobs, so there's that. To the untrained eye, it will seem as if I am napping. But in reality, I will be quieting my mind to boost creativity. Boss: Meditate on your own time. Wally: Wow. That just stressed me out and shut down my creative juices. Boss: Just do your job! Wally: Because quality doesn't matter?